It sure wasn't the Oscars, or even the Emmys, but at least last night's Golden Globe Awards shared the wealth.
In the final tally, only two films collected more than one award at the annual awards fête held at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, Calif.
The night's big winner was American Hustle, a breezy, semi-factual story of seventies-era corruption that earned acting Globes for its stars Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence, and also collected top honours for best picture in the comedy or musical category.
Doubling up on Golden Globes was the low-key drama Dallas Buyers Club, which earned two acting awards for Matthew McConaughey and co-star Jared Leto.
And beyond those wins it was one Golden Globe per customer.
Most notably in the category of best drama, where the Golden Globe was bestowed upon 12 Years a Slave, an unflinching depiction of pre-Civil War slavery based on a true story. British director Steve McQueen's movie had garnered seven nominations but took home only one statuette.
Also going home Globe-free despite multiple nominations: The Coen brothers' homage to sixties folk music Inside Llewyn Davis and the black-and-white drama Nebraska, directed by Alexander Payne.
For people watching at home, the Golden Globes were a boozy, bawdy and occasionally chaotic affair. Here's what you missed on Sunday night.
Hit: Fey and Poehler nail it
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are awards show gold. After last year's Golden Globes, it was impossible to tell if they could be as funny this time around. Any worries were totally unfounded. The dynamic duo delivered an opening that was jam packed with great zingers, from calling the original title of American Hustle "Explosion at the Wig Factory" to Poehler saying Masters of Sex was the degree she got in college. Their best joke, though, was directed at Hollywood's biggest charmer. Gravity, Fey said, is about how "George Clooney would rather float away and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age."
Miss: This speech just won't stop
The Golden Globes don't take themselves as seriously as the Oscars do, not even close, which is what makes it so entertaining. Poehler and Fey set the tone brilliantly right out of the gate, which is why Jacqueline Bisset's emotional acceptance speech was so awkward.
After finally gaining her composure, she delivered a rambling speech that went on and on and on. And on. The music came on to usher her off; she ignored it. Plenty of people on Twitter commented on how awkward the speech was. National Post film critic Chris Knight pointed to the self-importance of the speech, tweeting, "I'll admit I'm not Jacqueline Bisset, but does she realize she's ONLY Jacqueline Bisset?"
The actress won the Golden Globe for best performance by an actress in a supporting role in a series, mini-series or motion picture made for television for her role in Dancing on the Edge.
Hit: They were on a boat
Easygoing banter is only part of the fun of the Golden Globes. When it's easygoing and really weird, it really reaches the next level. The best example of the night? Diddy and Alex Ebert. Diddy was one of three people presenting the award for best original score for a motion picture. When Ebert won for his work on All Is Lost, he got up on stage and mentioned that he was partying with Diddy on a boat in St. Barts when the rapper came up behind him, undid his jacket, and said "Let it flow."
Forget about the Golden Globes. Viewers probably wished they could watch what happened on that boat.
Diddy isn't just fun to party with on boats. He's also an awards show natural. If Fey and Poehler can't host next year, he could be a candidate to replace them. Seriously. "Everybody just keep drinking; it'll be over soon," he told the audience. That's the kind of attitude we want in a Golden Globes host.
Miss: And here's your winner … coming … they're almost here …
Who did the seating chart for the Golden Globes? Because when the big annual awards show for seating chart makers happens, this person will not be taking home any hardware. Golden Globe winners seem to take forever to make their way from their tables to the stage to accept their awards. That may explain why it feels like the music is starting up halfway through everyone's speeches. Robin Wright, who won for best performance by an actress in a dramatic television series, actually ran to the stage.
Miss: The best part has disappeared
Fey and Poehler delivered a fantastic opening monologue, and then were barely seen. Sure, they had that funny bit about Randy, Fey's love child, and then they turned up only sporadically. The best part of the show certainly aren't getting nearly enough air time. Give us more Fey and Poehler!
Hit: The best presenter of the night
Some Golden Globe presenters take their jobs seriously. Not Emma Thompson. She sauntered on to stage carrying her shoes in one hand and a martini in the other. She held up the red bottom of her Louboutin shoes and told the audience, "This is my blood." Then she asked where the envelope was. When it was handed to her, she chucked her shoes over her shoulder to take it. Best presenter of the evening, by far.
Miss: This is what you say on Woody Allen's behalf?
It only made sense for Diane Keaton to accept Woody Allen's lifetime achievement award. And much of her speech was a nice honour for the filmmaker, especially the praise Keaton heaped on Allen's work for providing female actors with great characters to play over the years. But then she started singing. She closed her speech with a rendition of the Girl Scouts song Make New Friends. Is that really how you honour someone?
Hit: Poehler's great night
Amy Poehler is arguably the biggest winner of the Golden Globes. Not only did she nail the opening monologue with Fey, she also nabbed the award for best performance by an actress in a television series, comedy or musical. She was so surprised to win that she didn't even have a speech with her. And on her way to picking up the award she got a massage from Bono. Not too shabby a night.
Miss: Here's something really great
Since when do actors present their own movies? Jonah Hill presented The Wolf of Wall Street. Steve Coogan presented Philomena while standing alongside the real life Philomena Lee. Chris Hemsworth presented Rush while standing alongside the real life Niki Lauda. Having the real life individuals on stage is a nice touch - they deserve the honour, after all. But it's a bit self-congratulatory for actors to present their own movies.
Hit: McConaughey's charm
Matthew McConaughey has been enjoying the kind of career revival that every actor who has ever been pigeonholed can only dream of. Once mocked for being not much more than a pretty boy who spent too much time with his shirt off, he's now being hailed for his dramatic work. When he accepted the award for best performance by an actor in a motion picture drama for his role in Dallas Buyers Club, McConaughey proved he might just be the only man alive who can rival Robert Downey Jr. for charming cocksureness.
"All right, all right, all right," he said right out of the gate, referencing what was once more or less his catchphrase. He went on to thank his mother and his wife, and win the hearts of just about everyone.