The Bush administration knows the truth about JK Rowling's mission to indoctrinate your children into the dark embrace of Beelzebub, but the war against your children's souls does not stop there. To help responsible parents, I've compiled a list of five vile and dangerous books currently being pushed on kids.
Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown Pagan moon worship is the cornerstone of both the occult underground and feminist revolutionaries. Goodnight Moon will groom your child into addressing the moon as a person, or "goddess." This will lead to nighttime blood sacrifices while reading Susan Faludi books. Goodnight salvation.
Alligator Pie by Dennis Lee "Alligator pie, alligator pie/If I don't get some I think I'm gonna die/ Give away the green grass, give away the sky/But don't give away my alligator pie." Lee's poem is basically a manual for drug addiction. "Alligator Pie" becomes the most important thing in the narrator's world as he happily pawns his hockey equipment for more of the sweet oblivion only "the pie" can give. Exactly what you'd expect from Canada.
Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing by Judy Blume Often times the liberal elites will present Satanic ideas in the form of secular humanism. This book is so beholden to the dark philosophies of Jean Paul Sartre you might as well give your child a beret and a copy of No Exit.
Bonus fact: Blume's follow up, Superfudge, takes its name from a common slang term for hash brownies.
The Story of Babar the Little Elephant by Jean de Brunhoff So you raise your home-schooled child in an armed compound and he's perfectly instilled with isolationist ideas, and then along comes this French-educated elephant with claims to a throne, preaching one-world government and the beliefs of the heathen U.N. Beware the mark of Babar.
Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak Dancing in wolf skin, summoning demons, hallucinations... If ever there was a textbook for "Satanic rings" to learn how to perform a black mass, this is it. Should you catch your child with this book, I recommend a quick viewing of It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, which warns about the dangers of Linus's descent into occult madness.