David Sedaris: ‘You either talk about writing, or you stay home and write’

The latest book from the sardonic humorist and great observer David Sedaris is Theft by Finding: Diaries, 1977-2002. The book of journal entries takes its title from his knack for overhearing nuggets of conversations or coming across people (and money on the ground) overlooked and unappreciated by others. The Globe and Mail spoke to him recently about writing, obnoxious photographers and the reason he doesn't tweet.

On the HBO series Girls

"I watched the first two seasons. When I was that age, I knew people like [Lena Dunham's character] Hannah. I feel that you either talk about writing, or you stay home and write. I remember when I lived in Chicago, Chicago Magazine had a column, Ones To Watch, who were people who were really going to go somewhere. Those were the people they tended to choose – people like Hannah, who liked to talk about writing or who were really good-looking. I just remember feeling like, 'I guess they didn't choose me, so I guess I won't amount to anything.'"

On having his picture taken

"I hate it. It's different with newspapers, but with magazines everybody went to the Annie Leibovitz school. They want you on all fours or with something in your mouth or with somebody on your back. The photographers feel that unless they're humiliating you in some way, then you're not revealing your true self. It took me a long time to be able to say, 'No.' Now, I just say it. But I was in Italy for a literary festival recently, and I had to have my picture taken for a magazine. The photographer wanted me to be in the pool with all my clothes on, but decided against it because it was going to be a winter issue. I told him I wouldn't have gotten into the pool with my clothes on anyway. He said, 'I would push you.' I told him I would throw his camera in the water. He said he'd get my publisher to pay for it. I am never unpleasant to people. I have wicked thoughts, but I never act on them. But with this guy, I was just shaking."

On why he doesn't tweet

"I've never been on Twitter, but if I'm not mistaken, it's all about being liked and being retweeted. It's about that validation, you know? I started writing when I was 20. Nobody saw anything until I was 28. For good reason: Because I sucked. I just finished a story with the New Yorker. We're up to the 23rd draft, and the first draft my editor saw was the 18th. There's something to be said for keeping things to yourself until it's time. But if I was 20, with all this technology, maybe I'd just want to get it out there and see if someone liked it or repeated it. I don't think so, though. I don't scratch any of those itches. I don't ask how many books are sold. I don't look at Amazon ratings. I'd rather live a rich and fulfilling life."

This interview has been edited and condensed.

David Sedaris appears at Sony Centre for the Performing Arts, Oct. 17.