So farewell then, Larry King.
The last Larry King Live (CNN, 9 p.m.) airs tonight. Come January, an unctuous and deeply irritating Englishman named Piers Morgan will be in Larry King's time slot on CNN. Then, people will be sorry. Oh yes they will. All those people who mocked King's dozy interview style, and his hair, glasses and suspenders, will be very sorry indeed.
There will be much to miss. Like what? You might well ask.
CNN has stuck by King until now, and the loyalty is admirable. It's also rare in the TV racket. King became a brand name, though, and when CNN was still relatively obscure, King's interview show gave it a focus and something to sell to viewers. Yes, readers, there was a time when all-news cable channels were perceived as an oddity. There were people saying, "That'll never work!" Celebrities and politicians talked to King, who allowed them to shine, pontificate and yak. And those interviews seemed to go on for hours. It was like a radio show on TV. People miss that, even if it mostly happened years ago.
King's tenacity will be missed. Not his tenacity in interviews, which was never evident - he let others do the talking. His tenacity in staying on the job has been remarkable. In recent years, he's looked like he would have to be pried from the desk, fingers still gripping it. As he aged, he became almost sinister-looking - a slight, elderly, bony figure. You half expected him to expire on the air. Having a lively, smarmy, full-of-himself English guy in his place will be a shock.
His vagueness might be missed - that sense that, sometimes, he wasn't sure who he was interviewing. Sometimes that made for unplanned hilarity. Like the time he asked Jerry Seinfeld if his show had been cancelled or he just quit. Seinfeld went ballistic. "Can somebody get my resumé in here to give to Larry?" he asked the studio crew, with real sarcasm.
The occasional rumbles about his private life will be missed - he married and divorced former Playboy bunny Alene Akins twice. In April of this year, People magazine reported that King and his wife Shawn Southwick King "raced separately to an L.A. courthouse to file competing divorce papers." Accusations went back and forth in the legal melee - Shawn accused her husband of 13 years of carrying on an affair with her look-alike younger sister. Simultaneously, it was alleged that Shawn had a fling with their son's little league baseball coach. Later, divorce proceedings were halted. Will anybody care if Piers Morgan is keeping it in his trousers?
Given the bizarre antics of other all-news cable figures, King will be missed for just doing his job, in his codger-ish way. He may have flogged books and given speeches for a fee, but he never descended into naked hucksterism. Not like Bill O'Reilly. On a recent evening, the last segment of The O'Reilly Factor on Fox News, began with this:
O'Reilly: " 'Pinheads & Patriots' in a moment, tonight starring WikiLeaks. But first, a couple of Factor alerts. We have now the best, and I mean the best, $20 gift of all time. Not going to tell you what it is, because we want you to go to BillOReilly.com and check it out. But this is the best $20 gift ever, and Santa would agree. The no-spin elves are exhausted after a huge weekend at BillOReilly.com Christmas store. Big items are the Patriot sweatshirts. Those are flying out of here. I wore mine this morning. Also, the American Patriot fleece jackets are big. And we are charging half of what you would pay for these jackets in the stores, because we're looking out for you."
Larry King couldn't summon the energy to do that, what with the hours-long TV show, the ex-wives and the racing to the courthouse.
The guests and content of tonight's final show remain a mystery. The latest from CNN is that Ryan Seacrest and Bill Maher will be on-set with King, and there will be 14 other guests from various cities across the country. The final guest will a surprise. Even Larry King doesn't know who it is.
That's nice. Goodbye Larry King, iconic TV figure from days of yore. Miss you already.
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A pleasant Christmas story alert - The Night Before the Night Before Christmas (W, 7 p.m.) is a made-in-Canada production for U.S. cable. Santa Claus accidentally leaves the North Pole a day early, only to crash-land on a family's roof and lose his magic. The family has to help him and save Christmas. Or something. The star is Jennifer Beals, but viewers will see many Canadian actors throughout. Among them is Rick Roberts, who has made a specialty of Christmas-themed TV movies. Apart from this, he's been in A Town Without Christmas, Eloise at Christmastime and The Town Christmas Forgot. Call him Mister Christmas.
Check local listings.