My girlfriend borrows my car to drive to work, which I don't mind. But she eats in it, and it really bothers me. I've discussed it with her, and she promised to stop, but I'm still finding fast-food packages and fries under the seat. She's ruining the interior of the car. I never thought I'd have to pick between my girlfriend and an automobile. What are my options?
Keeping Up Appearances
Well, a girl's got to eat. And since we spend a lot of time racing around in vehicles, it's not surprising that your gal is eating on the go. According to Michael Pollan, journalist and author of In Defense of Food , the car is one of the top places Americans consume calories.
One of Pollan's food rules is that you shouldn't get your fuel from the same place your vehicle does. While it's clearly affecting your car, I'd be equally concerned about the effect fast food is having on your girlfriend's health. There's a reason drive-thru food is nutritionally void: it's primarily designed for convenience - to be eaten on the go, and it's inexpensive.
If you want to cut down on waste in the car while improving her diet, why not make breakfast for your girlfriend? Pack her a lunch or some vegetables to snack on. If she insists on cooked food, suggest a car-becue - she can pop a foil-wrapped turkey breast on the engine block while she drives, and have dinner ready for you by the time she gets home.
It doesn't matter whether you drive a Jaguar or a Hyundai Accent, a clean car is a lifestyle choice - not to mention a dirty interior will influence the resale value of your car. We're supposed to be concerned with what's under the hood, but when it comes to cars - or romantic relationships - it's usually aesthetics that hook us first.
Before the drive-in became the drive-thru, no one was expected to operate their vehicle while they ate. And trash was placed back on the window-tray, so the lady in the hot pants could skate it away. Even with grab-and-go packaging today, mess is not completely eliminated. If you visit Burger King, you can experience the rush of holding a Whopper in your hand, but you won't relish the pleasure of mopping a sloppy patty off your jeans.
If your girl is stopping on the way home to get some of the Colonel's favourite, your steering wheel is sure to be finger-lickin' good when she's done. If she's not greasing the wheel with fried chicken, she's probably lubing the stick shift with hash browns that come in a handy pouch. And whether she prefers Starbucks or Tim's, there's nothing quite like tipping over a sticky sweet chai tea latte, or the smell of milk fermenting in a car on a hot day.
Apart from the fact that it's healthy, I'd hate to see her try to eat sushi while driving. When she pinches what she thought was a chunk of avocado (it looks remarkably similar to wasabi) and puts the chopsticks to her mouth, she's sure to lose focus. There really is nothing quite like driving under the influence ... of horseradish.
I'm sure you've broached the safety angle with her. I hope for her sake (and others) it's not a manual transmission. Balancing a coffee between her thighs while scarfing a Big Mac and driving stick is vehicular Russian roulette. And I don't know how you share the operating costs of the vehicle, but perhaps she should pay for monthly auto detailing.
Convincing someone to change their behaviour is tricky. You can hint as much as you like, but unless she decides to step up, you'll only get blue in the face. Typically, the best indicator of future performance is past performance. But if a dirty car is really a relationship ender - you two may have deeper problems.
There's a good chance you'll have to accept her behaviour, or move on. If she keeps eating garbage, a trade-in could be in your future. If you let this slide, and nature takes its course, you may be forced to answer the dreaded question: "Honey, do I look fat in this car?"
Joanne Will