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Globe Drive team tests its mettle at a Mini Monte event

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A coffee shop in Kitchener, Ont., is one of three starting points for the Mini Monte Rally on July 22.

Darren McGee/The Globe and Mail

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A rally organizer briefs competitors on the rules, regulations and other minutia. Yadda, yadda, yadda ... Dude, really, how hard can this be? Let’s get on with it.

Darren McGee/The Globe and Mail

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The Globe Drive team’s dream machine: a Porsche 911 Carrera cabriolet. And no, it’s not brown. The colour is called Cognac. So there.

Darren McGee/The Globe and Mail

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Finally out on the road, driver Lorraine Sommerfeld ...

Darren McGee/The Globe and Mail

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... runs into a road block. Maybe more attention should’ve been paid to the organizer dude in the yellow shirt.

Darren McGee/The Globe and Mail

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An inordinate amount of time is spent racing down gravel roads. Maybe the fancy-pants Porsche isn’t such a great idea after all.

Darren McGee/The Globe and Mail

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Another team sneaks up on the Globe Drive car.

Darren McGee/The Globe and Mail

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And we’re no longer sure which way is up.

Darren McGee/The Globe and Mail

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Sommerfeld dawdles on the way back to the car at a race checkpoint. Hello? We’re in a race here ...

Darren McGee/The Globe and Mail

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Ice capps: The fuel of champions.

Darren McGee/The Globe and Mail

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Perfect. A slow-moving farm vehicle. It starts to fall apart early for the Globe Drive team.

Darren McGee/The Globe and Mail

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And if that isn’t bad enough, the skies then open up and down comes the torrential rain.

Darren McGee/The Globe and Mail

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A rally checkpoint.

Darren McGee/The Globe and Mail

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Instructions and the Globe Drive team’s scorecard. Does it contain hidden glory? Once all those check-in times are evaluated, will it be the Globe Drive duo atop the podium? Do they even have a podium?

Darren McGee/The Globe and Mail

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Uh, no. Sommerfeld and navigator Darren McGee finish ninth. Out of nine. Dead last. Did we mention the cool Cognac-coloured car?

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