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Archie, a Chinese Crested, is seen here prior to winning World's Ugliest Dog competition at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in Petaluma, Calif. in 2006.

A humorous look at the companies that caught our eye, for better or worse, this week



Cameco









Upside of exposure to uranium: 1) Phosphorescent glow is perfect for reading in bed; 2) Third eyeball is a great ice breaker at parties; 3) Freakish portfolio growth impresses friends and neighbours. Investors with exposure to Cameco were radiant after the company agreed to supply 29 million pounds of uranium concentrate to China Guangdong Nuclear Power through 2025.











Del Monte Foods

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For years Daddy wondered why Sparky wouldn't sit up and beg for a Milk Bone. Then one day the vet took him aside and broke the news: "We've done some X-rays, and it appears you won this dog at some sort of carnival game." Del Monte shares had no trouble doing tricks after the maker of Milk Bone, Meow Mix and assorted human foods agreed to a $4-billion takeover led by KKR. Woof!











Potash One









"Ve make an offer for Potash One, ya?" "But za Canadian government, zay already shot down BHP's bid." "Zat was for Potash Corp. of Saskatchewan, you dummkopf." "Oh, like I should know there are two companies named Potash?" - Actual conversation overheard in the boardroom of Germany's K+S, prior to making a $434-million offer for Potash One .















Tiffany









The poor may be grappling with high unemployment and rising home foreclosures, but the rich are facing some stressful decisions of their own. For example: Should I settle for the $150,000 diamond and gold bracelet, or splurge on the $254,000 platinum necklace? With wealthy consumers opening their wallets, Tiffany posted strong quarterly results and hiked its full-year forecast, making its stock sparkle.















Bank of Ireland











I know. Let's call Bono.



Bank of Ireland











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About the Author
Investment Reporter and Columnist

John Heinzl has been writing about business and investing since 1990. A native of Hamilton, he earned a master's degree from the University of Western Ontario's Graduate School of Journalism and completed the Canadian Securities Course with honours. More

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