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Archie, a Chinese Crested, is seen here prior to winning World's Ugliest Dog competition at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in Petaluma, Calif. in 2006.

A humorous look at the companies that caught our eye, for better or worse, this week

Rogers Communications

Ways to fight back against soaring cable and cellphone bills:

1) Throw away your TV and rediscover the thrill of a good radio drama; 2) Keep in touch with friends using smoke signals; 3) Buy Rogers stock. The shares surged on reports that Rogers is buying fibre-optic provider Atria Networks and is also testing 4G wireless technology.

Abercrombie & Fitch

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Want a shapely rear end? Try on a pair of "perfect butt sweatpants" from Abercrombie & Fitch . Want a shapely investment portfolio? Try A&F's stock. Shares of the retailer famous for its half-naked models surged after same-store sales leaped 13 per cent in September, lifted by a strong back-to-school season. Hey, nice assets.

U.S. Non-Farm Payrolls

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"


"Anita who?"

"Anita job."

Sara Lee

Business quiz! Name the product Sara Lee doesn't make: 1) Jimmy Dean sausage; 2) Kiwi shoe polish; 3) Senseo coffee makers; 4) President's Choice frozen fish eyes. Answer: 4. With its global brands, strong free cash flow and low debt, Sara Lee has received overtures from buyout firms such as KKR and Apollo, reports say.

Air Canada

Good news: Air Canada's stock hit a two-year high after September traffic rose 12 per cent from a year earlier. Bad news: If you'd bought the stock at its initial offering price of $21 in 2006, you'd still be down about 85 per cent. Repeat after me: I will never buy an airline stock again.

Air Canada

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About the Author
Investment Reporter and Columnist

John Heinzl has been writing about business and investing since 1990. A native of Hamilton, he earned a master's degree from the University of Western Ontario's Graduate School of Journalism and completed the Canadian Securities Course with honours. More

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