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Anyone who has done duty as a bridesmaid will appreciate what quickly becomes a running joke in 27 Dresses, newly out on DVD.

Over and over again, the film's protagonist, Jane Nichols, played by Katherine Heigl, hears brides tell her enthusiastically, "Aren't the dresses great? The best thing about them is you can shorten them and wear them again."

To which the perpetual wedding wingwoman forces a smile and says, "Definitely. So true."

Meanwhile, the frocks are truly hideous, from Little Bo Peep petticoats to Chiquita Banana cancan ruffles. Vomit green ruins one otherwise decent dress; colour-co-ordinated gloves and shoes are overkill for another. Sound familiar?

As the nuptial season gets under way, female friends and family members will be squeezed into satin sausage styles and suffocated by tulle. Worse, they will spend hundreds of dollars on dresses that will never again see the light of day.

But it doesn't have to be this way, especially now that bridal designers are swapping frou-frou fabrics for lighter taffetas and jersey, creating more wearable and flattering silhouettes and discouraging matchy match looks.

"Dresses have totally taken a trend toward ready-to-wear," says Heather Levine, fashion editor for theknot.com, a leading Internet portal for all things bridal. A popular look this season: "Cute cocktail styles where one detail stands out - and it's not a big obnoxious flower." Even wrap dresses are gaining ground, she says.

Perhaps brides are finally getting the message that it's a fashion crime to put pals in ensembles that they would never dream of wearing themselves.

As the character Kevin Doyle (James Marsden) declares upon surveying one of the 27 monstrosities. "This is an instrument of torture inflicted on you by a bride who wants you to look ugly."

By contrast, tasteful dresses reflect well on the woman of the hour. It's part of a more mature attitude that Catherine Lash attributes to the reality of older brides.

"You're dressing a woman, you're not dressing a girl," says the founder of the Wedding Co., an online newsletter. Her high-end Toronto events (the next one is June 3) allow her to keep tabs on what brides are looking for. "They're going more glam," she says. "They're being influenced by the red carpet."

And that also means letting each member of the bridal party show off her best assets.

"We're always looking for what looks great on a number of body types," says Andrea Anastasiou, owner of White, a Toronto salon-cum-atelier that devotes an entire floor to bridesmaid dresses. (At the moment she loves "pocket dresses and satin dresses that have a cocktail feeling.") "But first and foremost, we're looking for fabulous dresses that create some kind of little collection."

That's right: The gals in the group need not all wear the same thing. Thinking outside the bridal box is a modern approach and what New York socialite (and fashion influencer) Lauren Davis did by having her legion of maidens wear floor-length numbers in various "sunset" inspired hues. The eye-catching and individualized lineup even made it into a recent issue of Vogue.

Such a modern look is trickier to organize than a one-look-suits-all approach, of course. And it is important to consider that just because a dress has a ready-to-wear look it can still take months to order, since many of the wedding labels - Vera Wang, Nicole Miller, Thread and Jenny Lee - are custom-fit, as with bridal gowns. This is why bridesmaids can expect to pay between $300 and $500 for a designer dress.

If having a big label name isn't important, preppy American clothier J. Crew has seized on the informal trend. An entire section of jcrew.com is devoted to outfitting the bridal party, from the ring bearer on up. Flouncy silk taffeta or chiffon bridesmaid dresses can be ordered in vibrant colours such as wild peony and aquamarine. Empire waistlines, shirred busts and pockets are crowd-pleasing features that increase the chances of repeated wear. And even if a dress is only worn that one time, an average price of $250 will cause less credit card angst.

Which leaves just one more topic to discuss: accessories. Keep jewellery to a minimum. And when it comes to shoes, Levine is a big proponent of anything metallic. "They are easy to find and modern as opposed to dyed-to-match cranberry." They can also be worn again for just about any occasion.

And speaking of metallic, Barbara Bush, twin of newlywed Jenna, looked lovely last weekend in a shimmery ivory halter dress from Texan wedding-wear designer Lela Rose that was Grecian goddess gorgeous.

No matter that it was long: She can shorten it.

Convincing the bride

The pre-emptive strike

Like sports, the best defence is a strong offence. The moment you are asked to be a bridesmaid, begin looking for dresses that will not make you throw up into the chocolate fountain.

Celebrity referencing

Mentioning what famous brides have done is a safe, casual way to lead your friend in a more aesthetically pleasing direction. "So I read in Us Weekly that Christina Aguilera let her bridesmaids pick the style and hue of their dresses, as long as they worked in a certain colour palette ..."

Self-sabotage

If you really hate the dress, make it look terrible when you try it on. Let your stomach hang out, don't wear a bra, keep your socks on and generally make her envision the potential horror of her wedding photos.

Be positive

The worst thing you can do is get defensive or insult her taste. Even if she suggests lime green pantsuits, praise the idea and then suggest a sane alternative. And never, ever complain about cost: You'll be accused of reducing her marital happiness to a petty monetary issue.

Reverse psychology

Tell her you love it, but that you want her to be, you know, totally sure. She's such an awesome bride and you want her Big Day to be perfect. Not that you don't like the dress, but maybe there's one that's more worthy of her wedding.

The Martha Stewart

approach

The bride doesn't care about what you think, she cares what everyone will think. So tell her you worry the dress won't match her flowers, table runners, cake, laser light show or some other already established element of the event. And if you're really desperate, imply that it might distract from her dress.

Siri Agrell wrote a book called Bad Bridesmaid: Bachelorette Brawls & Taffeta Tantrums, What We Go Through For Her Big Day

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