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The Globe and Mail

Celebrity Photos of the Week: Awards and zombies specials

All captions by The Globe and Mail. You can follow Caption Writing Person on Twitter: @captionperson

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Rob Schneider sings the national anthem before Game 7 of the MLB National League Championship Series on Monday. What, Pauly Shore wasn’t available?

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The Rolling Stones’ Ronnie Wood, Mick Jagger and Keith Richards attend the world premiere of "Crossfire Hurricane" in London last week. What, a relevant rock ’n’ roll band that’s released a decent song some time in the past 25 years wasn’t available?

Reuters

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Meanwhile, drummer Charlie Watts wanders away from the band when he thinks he sees the Queen Mum standing over there talking to Brian Jones.

Reuters

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Actor Jean-Claude Van Damme smiles in front a new life-size statue of himself in Brussels, Belgium, on Sunday. In a tribute to his acting skills, the statue is carved out of a specially-made hybrid of wood and jambon de Paris.

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New York zombie break!

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Julianne Hough arrives at the Carousel of Hope Ball in Beverly Hills last week. We suggest lingering on this photo before clicking ahead to the next one. Seriously. Lllllllllingerrrrrrrrr...

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Joan Collins at the Carousel of Hope Ball in Beverly Hills last week is what your insatiable 21st-century thirst for instant gratification gets you.

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Serbia zombie break!

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Pop-star zombie break!

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George Clooney and his girlfriend Stacy Keibler arrive at the Carousel of Hope Ball in Beverly Hills last week. Clooney received the ball's Brass Ring Award for his outstanding artistic achievements and his work as a great humanitarian. So nice to finally see a Hollywood celebrity get honoured with a vague award that trades in flowery superlatives from a well-heeled charity that panders to the super-wealthy!

Reuters

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George Clooney accepts the Brass Ring Award for being the Celebrity Available to Accept the Award and Boost Attendance, Not to Mention Press Coverage, at the Carousel of Hope Ball in Beverly Hills last week.

Reuters

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Toronto zombie scratch break!

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Robert De Niro (left) and Bradley Cooper pose at the 16th annual Hollywood Film Awards Gala in Beverly Hills on Monday, another event correcting the great wrong that is the lack of attention and positive reinforcement that goes with being an A-list Hollywood celebrity.

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The completely unheralded Dustin Hoffman got a Hollywood Film Award.

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Richard Gere, too, was finally recognized for his years of service to the industry.

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Robert De Niro got an award but he seems a little worried about its worth or something.

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Oh. Ben Affleck got one too.

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Super-terrifying zombie break!

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Fatuous zombie break.

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Pokey Brit geezer zombie break finale.

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