All photos by @captionperson
You thought the Cannes Film Festival was over? Pas tout à fait. Here we find Rosie Huntington-Whitely breaking out her best dead-eyed model face at the premiere of The Search. See what happens to your career when you appear in a Transformers movie?Thibault Camus/The Associated Press
But of course that only inspired fellow model Cara Delevingne to flash her own soulless expression on The Search red carpet. These supermodels can be so competitive!REGIS DUVIGNAU/Reuters
Ms. Delevingne won the unofficial glaring contest after six paparazzos complained of feeling woozyThibault Camus/The Associated Press
But once the floodgates opened, all supermodels in the vicinity rushed the red carpet, including Hungarian model Barbara Palvin. She’s not actually in The Search, but a form-fitting white dress with nothing underneath goes a long way at CannesYVES HERMAN/Reuters
Unfortunately, Ms. Palvin’s attempt to replicate the bored model look caused an internal circuit board to overload and she blew a fuseYVES HERMAN/Reuters
Elsewhere, the sultry French-Argentinian actress Berenice Bejo - who actually appears in The Search - gladly demonstrated the accepted European hand gesture for ‘Hey, where the hell is my Hermes gift bag?’ to festival organizers. So beautiful, so classyAlastair Grant/The Associated Press
And at the other end of the spectrum: Sharon Stone, shown here at The Search premiere (she’s not in the movie either) wearing a getup completely appropriate for a 56-year-old actress…playing a bordello madameBENOIT TESSIER/Reuters
But mamma mia, weren’t the Cannes press corps grateful that Sophia Loren showed up to promote the Italian film Human Voice (Voce Umana)? She turns 80 in a few months but still knows how to get attentionArthur Mola
As does French film legend Catherine Deneuve, a comparative teenybopper at age 70 (okay, well, not exactly a teenybopper), but still a head-turning beauty who had people talking about the out-of-competition entry L'homme qu'on aimait trop (In the Name of My Daughter)REGIS DUVIGNAU/Reuters
Meanwhile, Sophia was still pulling off the cheeky publicity moves she learned on Houseboat (1958) by pretending to take pictures of the picture-takers. ‘Oh, theese is some-a big lens, oh boy. How does theese lens a-work?’Alastair Grant/The Associated Press
‘Give it a rest, grand-mere…’REGIS DUVIGNAU/Reuters
In other news, Mad Men star Christina Hendricks and Canada’s own Ryan Gosling plugged the new film Lost River at Cannes while simultaneously denying claims they would be starring in ‘Lars and the Real Girl 2’Alastair Grant/The Associated Press
Later that evening, Ms. Hendricks’ husband, Geoffrey Arend (an actor, apparently), reacted with fitting mock indignation when the French press made the suggestion that his wife only make 3-D movies in the futureREGIS DUVIGNAU/Reuters
On a completely different red carpet, Oscar-winning actor Adrien Brody was the picture of Hollywood class at the premiere of the Chinese feature Coming Home.YVES HERMAN/Reuters
And then all that class went right out the window when he thought he spotted Halle Berry in the crowd. Adrien!YVES HERMAN/Reuters
But since there’s more to celebrity life than declassé foreign film festivals, we now jump to New York for the annual Webby Awards. You just know there’s gonna be flashbulbs a-popping when Ms. Shannen Doherty is in the house...Andy Kropa
Also at the Webby Awards: Former Star Trek mainstay George Takei, a.k.a. Helmsman Sulu. Anybody able to sustain a lifelong feud with William Shatner is okay in our booksAndy Kropa
And since the Webby Awards were taking place in the Big Apple, there was naturally a stage turn by Patti Smith. We’re aware Patti is still a revered presence on the New York music scene, but could someone please tell her about leave-in conditioner?Andy Kropa
And finally, we come to the Norwegian brothers Vegard and Bard Ylvisaker, better known as the pop-comedy duo Ylvis, who were completely ignored by almost everyone at the Webby Awards. Sorry, lads, but nobody really cares what the fox saysAndy Kropa