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The Globe and Mail

Celebrity Photos of the Week: Extra-posh U.K. All Star Edition!

All captions by @captionperson

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Don’t ask us to explain but most of the major star happenings were in the U.K. this past week. Here’s eighties pop star Boy George at the Brit Awards in London sporting a nifty hairpiece, Sharpie face-tattoo and what appears to be a nasty contusion from falling off the bus on the way there. Still a karma chameleon after all these years!

LUKE MACGREGOR/REUTERS

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Also at the Brit Awards was the British singer-songwriter known as Katy B, who shamelessly chose to use the event to promote her second job as mosquito-netting spokesperson.

Joel Ryan/AP

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And looky here: Isn’t that British soul singer Laura Mvula and rapper Tinie Tempah on the red carpet? And why are both of them dressed for the Back to the Future prom?

Joel Ryan/AP

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Also fancied up for the Brit Awards was U.S. pop star Pharrell Williams, who left his Bonanza hat at home but brought along his much-taller wife, Helen Lasichanh. Despite Pharrell’s elfin size, nobody had the courage to tell him that his pant cuffs were way too high.

Joel Ryan/AP

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Until American pop veteran Nile Rodgers showed up and told Pharrell, ‘Son, those pants need to be at least this much longer.” Le freak, c’est chic.

LUKE MACGREGOR/REUTERS

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No such pants problems were experienced by Conor Maynard. He’s just a 21-year-old English pop star who already looks 45. Nope, no problem here.

Joel Ryan/AP

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But just like the Grammys, the Brit Awards exist to give sexy pop stars a chance to flaunt their goods. With this shot, singer Lilly Allen had everyone asking, ‘Who made that dress?’ On this side of the pond, everyone’s asking, ‘Who’s Lilly Allen?’

Joel Ryan/AP

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In classier couture, singer Rita Ora wore a sort of tasteful gown that reminded everyone of the great Shirley Bassey. Diamonds are forev-uh!

LUKE MACGREGOR/REUTERS

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In the same vein, pop star Pixie Lott (real name) wore a frock that had everyone comparing her to Petula Clark. Don’t sleep in the subway, darlin’.

Joel Ryan/AP

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And British singer Jessie J wore an outfit that stirred up unpleasant memories of the Profumo affair.

Joel Ryan/AP

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But thank heaven for small miracles and second chances, right? Here’s Jessie J at the Elle Style Awards.

Joel Ryan/AP

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And here’s take two for Rita Ora at the Elle Style Awards … following a quick rummage through Bjork’s storage locker.

PAUL HACKETT/Reuters

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And believe it or not, Pharrell Williams and his wife Helen Lasichanh also turned up at the Elle event – and this time the little guy wasn’t the only celebrity being dwarfed by an Amazonian woman.

PAUL HACKETT/Reuters

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According to eyewitnesses, fashion journalist Nicola Formichetti was in no way threatened by the towering presence of Czech model Karolina Kurkova.

Jon Furniss/AP

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And neither was British fashion photographer David Bailey in regard to his much-taller spouse, model Catherine Dyer. Of course, Mr. Bailey also spent much of his time at the event asking people where Frodo had taken his ring.

Jon Furniss/AP

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But the biggest name at the Elle event was ex-Harry Potter star Emma Watson, shown here wearing a skirt that is either inside-out or tangled up by static cling. Still, she’s sassy, sexy and a Hogwarts grad. You don’t often see this sort of bird in America, right, mate?

PAUL HACKETT/Reuters

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What you do see in America: 60-year-old model Christie Brinkley, who was removed from her cryogenic chamber to promote the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 50th Anniversary Issue at a New York event and taunt Billy Joel to an early grave.

Evan Agostini/AP

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Also pushing the Swimsuit Issue were former SI models Rachel Hunter, Carol Alt and Daniela Pestova, all since replaced by much younger women. If clenching teeth were an Olympic sport, you’d have your gold, silver and bronze-medal winners right here.

Evan Agostini/AP

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While in the Big Apple, the SI models were hauled to the New York Stock Exchange. Here we see model Chrissy Teigen demonstrating that a world-class supermodel can somehow magically make a stock trader’s jacket look … rumpled.

BRENDAN MCDERMID/REUTERS

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And everything was tremendous fun until someone asked 2014 SI cover Nina Agdal how closely she followed the stock market. Sadly, ‘Tee-hee’ can only take you so far in life.

BRENDAN MCDERMID/REUTERS

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