All captions by @captionperson
So nice to see Justin Bieber hasn’t strayed far from his rural Canadian roots at an NBA playoff game in Miami, Fla., on Monday.Joe Skipper/Reuters
Steven Seagal was in Russia last week, where he helped broker a meeting between Russian and American lawmakers about the threat of Islamic terrorism, and also discussed the possibility of giving a celebrity endorsement to a Russian arms manufacturer whose weapons routinely fall into the hands of Islamic terrorists. None of this caption is made up or intended to be funny.Maxim Shemetov/Reuters
There was a joke I wanted to make about Michael Douglas and cunnilingus, but after I put those two thoughts together in my head everything stopped being funny and I felt a bit sick.David Azia/The Associated Press
Ethan Hawke has a similar reaction at the 2013 Council of Fashion Designers of America awards in New York on Monday.Lucas Jackson/Reuters
What was the most inexplicable contrivance at the 2013 Council of Fashion Designers of America awards in New York on Monday? Was it A) this outfit?Lucas Jackson/Reuters
B) This hair?Lucas Jackson/Reuters
C) Nicole Richie?Lucas Jackson/Reuters
Emma Watson wavers between signing the Harry Potter poster handed to her by a fan and stabbing the fan to death with a Sharpie at the premiere of “This Is the End” in Los Angeles on Monday.Mario Anzuoni/Reuters
Seth Rogen is impressed with how much damage a Sharpie can actually do to a human skull at the premiere of “This Is the End” in Los Angeles on Monday.Mario Anzuoni/Reuters
Emma Watson relaxes and feels the warm sun on her face after feasting on the indelible-ink-stained brains of a Harry Potter fan at the premiere of “This Is the End” in Los Angeles on Monday.Mario Anzuoni/Reuters
Charlie Watts makes playing drums in the same band for 50 years seem really cool at a Rolling Stones concert in Chicago last week.John Gess/Reuters
Jada Pinkett Smith can barely contain her joy at the prospect of watching another one of her husband Will Smith’s patented summer blockbusters at the premiere of "After Earth" in New York last week.Carlo Allegri/Reuters
Humble small-town Jesus-loving non-diva Justin Bieber arrives late for the premiere of "After Earth" in New York last week.Carlo Allegri/Reuters
Oprah Winfrey waits for her producers to turn off the “applaud mindlessly” light after receiving an honorary Doctor of Laws degree at Harvard University last week. Later she told everyone to look under their seats, where they all found shares in the Oprah Network.Brian Snyder/Reuters
Backstreet Boys Brian Littrell and Kevin Richardson hold pandas in China last week, thereby uniting America and China’s respective most-ridiculous cultural exports in a single photo.Bobby Yip/Reuters
Batman and Robin took time off from crime-fighting to attend a rugby match in Hong Kong last week. Sadly, judging by the Bat-crotch, it appears the Batman had an accident in the Batsuit.Bobby Yip/Reuters