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Celebrity Photos of the Week: Lady Gaga, soccer mom

All captions by The Globe and Mail. Follow Caption Writing Person on Twitter: @captionperson

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Great news, everyone: Lady Gaga is bringing back mom jeans. And we thought Mitt Romney lost the election?

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Look! It’s two real boxers and an actor who plays a boxer. You can tell the real boxers by the fact they’re not so tiny you’d feel bad if you hit them.

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Russell Brand arrives at the premiere of the movie "Anna Karenina" in Hollywood last week wearing a scarf that suggests there may be an inverse relationship between an actor’s ability and the length of his accessories.

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Long-time Hollywood couple Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor arrive at a Hollywood bash in Beverly Hills last week.

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Short-time Hollywood couple Justin Theroux and Jennifer Aniston arrive at a Hollywood bash in Beverly Hills last week.

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While-we're-still-on-the-film-company's-time couple Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, seen here at the German premiere of "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2" in Berlin last week, continue to share confusing public displays of affection that keep everybody over the age of 12 wondering why anyone is supposed to care whether these two are a couple or not.

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In a scene that requires no explanation at all as to what a mime painted blue has to do with Latin music, singer Michel Teló has his brow wiped by a member of Blue Man Group during the Latin Grammy Awards in Las Vegas on Sunday.

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Later, Blue Man Group brought some nice rotisserie. Duh.

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Speaking of nice rotisserie .... is a really bad way of introducing a photo of Jenny McCarthy at the American Music Awards in Los Angeles on Sunday.

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Pshutup, Psy.

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Singer Carly Rae Jepsen performs at the American Music Awards in Los Angeles on Sunday, causing her target audience to ask, “What is that strange booth-like object with the word ‘telephone’ on it? It must be a metaphor that we don’t get. Oh well!”

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Speaking of rotisserie chicken, Justin Bieber performs at the American Music Awards in Los Angeles on Sunday.

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At the American Music Awards in Los Angeles on Sunday, Justin Bieber performed with Nicki Minaj in a celebration of overt sexuality and the gleeful objectification of women’s bodies.

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Later that evening, Jenny McCarthy grabbed Bieber from behind and kissed him, shocking Bieber because a music awards show is no place for a celebration of overt sexuality and the gleeful objectification of men’s bodies.

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Ginnifer Goodwin arrives at the American Music Awards in Los Angeles on Sunday with the vacant and slumped look of a Hollywood starlet whose career is going nowhere.

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Carly Rae Jepsen arrives at the American Music Awards in Los Angeles on Sunday with the vacant and slumped look of a pop star who has to keep singing the same damn song over and over again.

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Justin Bieber arrives at the American Music Awards in Los Angeles on Sunday with earrings and a necklace, PLUS a vacant and slumped look. Magic!

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Shania Twain is on a horse.

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Look down.

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Now back at Shania

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Now back at James Franco.

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Now at MC Hammer and Psy at the American Music Awards in Los Angeles on Sunday, and realize you just wasted 90 seconds of your life that you will never get back.

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