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The Globe and Mail

Celebrity Photos of the Week: The Grammys and other madness

All captions by The Globe and Mail. You can follow Caption Writing Person on Twitter: @captionperson

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Pope Benedict orders two more inquisitions at the Grammy Awards in Los Angeles on Sunday. Oh wait, Pope Benedict is the other guy in LMFAO, the one that’s resigning. This is Redfoo. Gotta get my facts straight.

Jordan Strauss/AP

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Stephen Harper arrives at the Grammy Awards in Los Angeles on Sunday.

Mario Anzuoni/Reuters

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Belgian boy reporter Tintin arrives at the Grammys with Sting’s wife Trudie Styler in Los Angeles on Sunday. Saperlipopette!

Mario Anzuoni/Reuters

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Jay Manuel arrives at the Grammy Awards on Sunday in a tie-dye suit that makes me say, “The only thing that could make a suit worse would be a suicide-bomb bra, high heels and a non-hilarious white-guy rapper pose. And that’s obviously impossible, so nothing can make a suit worse.”

Jordan Strauss/AP

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Wrong again. Thanks, Kiefer Sutherland, Hasty Pudding Man of the Year, Harvard University, Boston, last week.

Brian Snyder/Reuters

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Okay, this time I’m sure I’m right: Either Rihanna just saw Frank Ocean knock Chris Brown out cold, or the singer is thinking about Frank Ocean knocking Chris Brown out cold.

Mario Anzuoni/Reuters

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Taylor Swift imagines what it would be like to go out with someone for an entire month at the Grammy Awards in Los Angeles on Sunday.

Jordan Strauss/AP

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Jennifer Lopez borrows a move from the Angelina Jolie salivary thighline playbook at the Grammys in Los Angeles on Sunday. Either that or she’s putting out a cigarette.

Jordan Strauss/AP

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No one told her it was so hard to hold out your leg!

Mario Anzuoni/Reuters

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Australian singer Gotye says, “Hey, look at my two magnificent shiny trophies!” at the Grammy Awards in Los Angeles on Sunday. That’s so annoying. I’m glad no one else did that.

Matt Sayles/AP

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Okay, almost no one else.

Jordan Strauss/AP

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Well, I’ll be dirndl! It’s Lisa D'Amato at the Grammy Awards in Los Angeles on Sunday!

Jordan Strauss/AP

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Kelly Clarkson accepts the Grammy for best pop vocal album as well as the challenge of putting the entire thing in her mouth.

Mike Blake/Reuters

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Breathe out if you didn’t win a Grammy, Carly. Maybe.

Jordan Strauss/AP

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Meanwhile in France on Tuesday, Bruce Willis was named a Commander of the Order of Arts and Letters in honour of his contributions to sardonicism and cheese and mowing down “les bad guys.”

Charles Platiau/Reuters

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In Berlin last week, Anne Hathaway promoted the film "Les Miserables" at the Berlinale International Film Festival before flying back to her secret Arctic Fortress of Solitude to continue her search for the remains of her home planet.

Fabrizio Bensch/Reuters

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In London last week at the BAFTA awards, actress Paloma Faith revived the toilet-bowel-with-the-lid-up look.

Suzanne Plunkett/Reuters

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Now why would Billy Connolly go and make an obscene gesture like that at the BAFTA awards in London last week?

Suzanne Plunkett/Reuters

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Oh.

Suzanne Plunkett/Reuters

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Shut up, Ben Affleck.

Suzanne Plunkett/Reuters

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Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio (left) watches as actor Steven Seagal addresses the media in Fountain Hills, Arizona, last week. Arpaio enlisted the action film star to lead a training exercise for members of his armed volunteer posse on how to respond to a school shooting. Seagal suggested rappelling from a helicopter onto a train and fighting the shooter in hand-to-hand combat, almost losing, scrunching your eyes to look defiant, and then coming back and stabbing the surprised shooter in the neck WITH HIS OWN WEAPON and saying, “I think he got the point” as you walk away.

Darryl Webb/Reuters

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