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Celebrity Photos of the Week: The Juno Awards – more Canadian than Timbits!

All photos by @captionperson

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Ah, the Juno Awards. More see-through than a Golden Globe yet less meaningful than a Razzie, the annual awards fete has long suffered from a dearth of star power, but this year’s show from Winnipeg was going to put our Canadian music scene on the map, right?

JOHN WOODS/THE CANADIAN PRESS

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Starting with this year’s choice of dynamic Junos host: country crooner Johnny Reid! (Who was actually born in Scotland.)

JOHN WOODS/THE CANADIAN PRESS

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Seminal seventies rockers Bachman Turner Overdrive were finally inducted into the Junos Hall of Fame, but the moment was sort of ruined when Fredo Bachman kept telling the floor director to ‘keep it moving.’

JOHN WOODS/THE CANADIAN PRESS

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Toward making amends, BTO frontman Randy Bachman helpfully pointed out to viewers that his hometown of Winnipeg was two hours behind some parts of Canada, and one hour ahead other regions of the country. Thanks, Randy!

TREVOR HAGAN/REUTERS

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But just like a real awards show, the Junos glam factor was most evident on the red carpet. Here we see the morose pop twins known as Tegan and Sara preparing to load several of the Juno trophies they collected into their Dodge Caravan.

JONATHAN HAYWARD/THE CANADIAN PRESS

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Also on hand was our shameless self-promoting astronaut Chris Hadfield, who posed accommodatingly with Mounties but was mercifully prohibited from playing the guitar by Manitoba law.

TREVOR HAGAN/REUTERS

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And here’s the singer named Jacynthe, apparently a household word in her native province of Quebec. Like ‘poutine’ or ‘corrupt politician.’

JOHN WOODS/THE CANADIAN PRESS

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And don’t tell me there are no hard-core Canadian rappers: Here’s the artist known as D-Sisive, wearing an ensemble best described as D-Sastrous.

JOHN WOODS/THE CANADIAN PRESS

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Ditto for the artist called JRDN, who flashed inexplicable hand signs but still offered no explanation as to why he took his moniker from a license plate.

TREVOR HAGAN/REUTERS

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And wait, who invited former child star Corey Feldman and his posse to the Junos? Oops, that’s actually a pop trio called Courage My Love.

JOHN WOODS/THE CANADIAN PRESS

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Elsewhere on the red carpet, the grubby Saskatchewan rockers known as The Sheepdogs did their level best to convince Juno attendees that they weren’t really the guys from Duck Dynasty.

TREVOR HAGAN/REUTERS

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Which, strangely enough, had Lee Harvey Osmond frontman Tom Wilson sulking because nobody thought he was one of The Sheepdogs.

JOHN WOODS/THE CANADIAN PRESS

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Here we have the Canadian band known as Walk Off the Earth, vaguely famous for making cover versions of other artists’ songs. Sometimes a snarky caption just isn’t necessary.

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So here’s a member of the edgy performance-art group called Yamantaka/Sonic Titan. We’re guessing the former.

JOHN WOODS/AP

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Also adding sprightliness to the Junos red carpet were the children’s performers known as Splash ‘n Boots. For the sake of argument, let’s assume she’s Splash and he’s Boots.

TREVOR HAGAN/REUTERS

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But in the final tally, the most famous person on the Junos red carpet was probably Olympic freestyle skier Dara Howell. She was also the best-dressed celebrity, even without the gold medal.

JONATHAN HAYWARD/THE CANADIAN PRESS

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The Junos broadcast’s low point: Serena Ryder’s bawdy joke about Justin Bieber.

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The Juno broadcast’s high point: Justin Bieber didn’t actually show up, so his Fan Choice award sat on a chair all night.

TREVOR HAGAN/REUTERS

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And where were Arcade Fire – arguably the biggest, most popular and successful Canadian band currently on the planet – this Juno night? On tour somewhere in South America, but they generously sent scary bobble-heads in their place. We are Canadian.

TREVOR HAGAN/REUTERS

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