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Celebrity Photos of the Week: When Pippa met Lindsay!

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The long, not-so-hot summer just passed us by, but no reason why we can’t keep making fun of celebrities, right? Let’s start with a visit to the Venice Film Festival, which inspired actor Anton Yelchin to break out his best dark suit with little white dots for the premiere of his new film Cymbeline. Niente male, padrone!

Andrew Medichini/AP

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Also at the Cymbeline premiere was the American actor John Leguizamo, who went to all the trouble of wearing a nice suit but then spoiled it with a clunky silver neck chain.

TONY GENTILE/REUTERS

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Luckily the sartorial benchmark was upheld by Ethan Hawke, whose nicely tailored suit wasn’t quite as wrinkled as he was. Reality still bites, fella

TONY GENTILE/REUTERS

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But wait, isn’t that Ethan’s ex-wife Uma Thurman looking resplendent on the Venice red carpet at the premiere of Nymphomaniac II? Looking good really is the best revenge

TONY GENTILE/REUTERS

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Ethan Hawke doesn’t look the least bit amused by the suggestion that he’s not looking good any more…

TONY GENTILE/REUTERS

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Uma Thurman, meanwhile, demonstrates the accepted Italian hand gesture for ‘Arrividerci, crinkly’

TONY GENTILE/REUTERS

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Also looking good in Venice was actress Milla Jovovich, best known for killing zombies in five entries of the Resident Evil film franchise but since graduated to playing the Queen of England in Cymbeline. That’s right, the Queen of England

Andrew Medichini/AP

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Here we see the British director Duane Hopkins, who was at the Venice film fest to promote his new film Bypass, but generated more press coverage for his luxurious beard. That really is some beard, you have to admit

David Azia/AP

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Elsewhere, French-English actress Charlotte Gainsbourg demonstrated the fine art of walking a red carpet while wearing fashionable but extremely painful high heels. The secret: Take tiny steps and a handful of painkillers

David Azia/AP

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No such footwear woes were experienced by Frances McDormand, however, who was in Venice to accept a lifetime achievement award. Every good Oscar-winner knows sensible shoes are the key to career success, you betcha

GABRIEL BOUYS/AFP/Getty Images

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Now on to central London, where the rich, famous and fatuous turned out for the GQ Men of the Year Awards. How posh an event was it? Even socialite Pippa Middleton (sister of you-know-who) showed up and for once she didn’t wear a see-through dress

Jonathan Short/Invision/AP

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No less refined was the actor Colin Firth, shown here with his wife Livia, who lent credence to the GQ Awards being a classy event

Jonathan Short/Invision/AP

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Wait, what? Who invited Rolling Stone member Ronnie Wood to the GQ party? Okay, even though he’s more than 30 years her elder, it was still a pretty classy event

Jonathan Short/Invision/AP

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Doh! Also at the GQ soiree was model Cara Delevingne. Suddenly, Pippa’s old see-through outfits seem positively chaste. And we probably should have expected a little indecent exposure, what with it being a men’s awards show and all. At least we know the guest list didn’t get any tackier

Jonathan Short/Invision/AP

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Egad! What were you thinking, Daisy Lowe! That’s no way for an up-and-coming English model to present herself to the public! And probably not that wise a fashion choice given the onset of cold and flu season

Jonathan Short/Invision/AP

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And that goes for you, too, Jessie J. Don’t you know that millions of hot-blooded young males will be looking at these pictures? Oh, you knew that. In any case, it looks like we’ve finally hit rock bottom at the GQ Men of the Year Awards in terms of classlessness and blatant chest exposure

Jonathan Short/Invision/AP

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But wait, a late addition to the lineup: Have a gander at that infamous reality star and fame-seeker Kim Kardashian herself, presumably in London to uphold the fine American tradition of vapid, talentless American celebrity-dom. But that must mean we’ve finally bottomed out, right? Right?

Jonathan Short/Invision/AP

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Ladies and gentleman, Ms. Lindsay Lohan!

Jonathan Short/Invision/AP

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