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Celebrity Photos of the Week: Where did the real stars go after the Oscars?

All captions by @captionperson

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In today’s Hollywood, you’re only as important as the party you attend after the Oscars. As always, the annual Vanity Fair soiree is considered the top of the celebrity food chain, which accounts for A-list invitees such as Oscar host Ellen DeGeneres and partner Portia de Rossi.

Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

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So how come daytime talk harridan Kelly Ripa and her unemployed actor husband Mark Consuelos were there?

Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

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Also making the scene at the Vanity Fair party was country singer Taylor Swift, who somehow managed to refrain from nuzzling with any available male celebrity or madly throwing her hair around. At least for a while.

Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

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Also at the Vanity Fair event was Parks and Recreation star Rashida Jones, who confirmed her booking on next week’s episode of What Not to Wear. Have at her, Stacy and Clinton.

Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

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And awkward? Director David O’Russell, whose film American Hustle was blanked at the Oscars, made a scene when he tried to make a run for it with Spike Jonze’s screenwriting trophy.

Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

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All was forgotten and forgiven after O’Russell and Jonze engaged in a passionate lip-lock that lasted six minutes.

DANNY MOLOSHOK/REUTERS

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Former Oscar-winner Anne Hathaway showed up at the Vanity Fair to pose for pictures and remind people she’s still alive.

DANNY MOLOSHOK/REUTERS

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And because every party needs a pooper, Oscar-winner Jared Leto photo-bombed just about every shot that Hathaway posed for on the red carpet.

DANNY MOLOSHOK/REUTERS

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After 45 minutes of making funny faces, Leto eventually gave up after realizing Hathaway was oblivious to his photo-bombing efforts.

DANNY MOLOSHOK/REUTERS

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Mad Men star Elisabeth Moss showed at the Vanity Fair party, but her invite only allowed her access to the ‘TV area,’ also known as ‘the break room for the valet parking guys.’

DANNY MOLOSHOK/REUTERS

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And who says Selena Gomez can’t act? The young pop star was right on point in convincing photographers that she wasn’t creeped out by Bill Murray.

Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

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‘I am Thor,’ boasted Chris Hemsworth at the Vanity Fair bash. ‘And I challenge any of you puny mortals to open my mighty clenched eye.’

Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

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And oddities? Yes, there were oddities. Here we see tennis star Serena Williams, who has no apparent connection to Hollywood or the film industry but still showed up at the Vanity Fair party to promote her role in the upcoming ‘Godzilla’ reboot and take a shot at unclenching Liam Hemsworth’s eye.

DANNY MOLOSHOK/REUTERS

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Odder still: Olympian ice-dance duo Meryl Davis and Charlie White, who even brought their gold medals to the Vanity Fair bash, possibly just to rub it in a little further for Tessa and Scott.

DANNY MOLOSHOK/REUTERS

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As for the presence of music-industry big shots, the Vanity Fair party was graced with the presence former Fleetwood Mac vocalist Stevie Nicks, who left Rihannon waiting in the limo.

DANNY MOLOSHOK/REUTERS

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Also in the house was former Frasier star Kelsey Grammer, who spent most of the evening trying to convince the paparazzi to snap a picture of him posing with younger wife Kayte Walsh, just to irritate his ex.

DANNY MOLOSHOK/REUTERS

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Also turning up at the Vanity Fair party was former Oscar recipient Adrien Brody, who searched in vain for Halle Berry most of the night.

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And here we see the coquettish comic talent Amy Poehler, newly detached from her former husband and all gussied up like she was hosting the Golden Globes or something.

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And was there an uncomfortable moment when Poehler’s ex, Canadian actor Will Arnett, flirted shamelessly with Hunger Games star Elizabeth Banks?

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‘We’re just friends, really,’ stammered Arnett to his former mate. ‘Wait, who’s watching our kids?’

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Meanwhile, over at the Elton John AIDS Foundation party, Kim Kardashian opted for a frock that had people comparing her to a young Elizabeth Taylor, minus the sex tape and short-tempered rapper boyfriend stuff.

GUS RUELAS/REUTERS

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For moral support, Kim was accompanied to the Elton John party by her sisters Khloe and Kourtney. And in case you think your eyes are playing tricks on you, Kourtney really is three-feet tall and Khloe really is Chewbacca.

GUS RUELAS/REUTERS

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Proudly representing Canada at the Elton John event: Dragon’s Den misanthrope Kevin O’Leary and wife Linda. Kevin, where did you get those shoes?

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Aha, Mr. O’Leary’s shoes were loaners from figure skater Johnny Weir, shown here with fellow skater Tara Lipinski.

GUS RUELAS/REUTERS

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And even though her only attempt to leap to the big-screen (the 2002 film Crossroads) was an abysmal flop, Britney Spears turned up at the Elton John event. ‘It’s an honour just to be nominated,’ said the confused Spears.

Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP

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‘Yeah, right, an honour,’ groused Jonah Hill at the Governors Ball.

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