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The Globe and Mail

Celebrity Photos of the Week: Bringing the pain at the MMVAs

All captions by @captionperson

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Happily engaged Canadian couple Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne are happily engaged at the Songwriters Hall of Fame ceremony in New York last week. Click to the next photo to see a computer-generated image of what the couple will look like after 30 years of marriage.

Carlo Allegri/Reuters

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Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne arrived at the Songwriters Hall of Fame ceremony in New York on June 13, 2043.

Carlo Allegri/Reuters

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News Corporation Chairman Rupert Murdoch and Wendi Deng, seen here on their wedding day, are getting divorced after they dropped their marriage and it irretrievably broke. They are grateful for all the expressions of sympathy not a single person in the world has sent them or even entertained for a second.

Stringer/Reuters

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Carly Rae Jepsen can barely contain her enthusiasm while performing Call Me, Maybe for the millionth time on ABC’s Good Morning America last week.

Zoran Milich/Reuters

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Rod Stewart, performing here at the Norwegian Wood festival in Oslo on Saturday, apparently wasn’t kidding when he said steroids shrunk his penis.

Lise Aserud/Reuters

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Sweaty Gerard Depardieu questions the wisdom of attending a film festival in a hot Mediterranean city like Nice, France, on Sunday just so he can receive a trophy shaped like a beach chair.

Eric Gaillard/Reuters

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London Mayor Boris Johnson takes part in a charity game of tennis in London on Sunday. The event was limited to mayors of major cities who are in good physical condition and not in jail. No Canadian mayors attended.

Eddie Keogh/Reuters

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In another photo devoid of Canadians, the stars of the film The Heat have actual fun on the red carpet at a screening in London last week.

Olivia Harris/Reuters

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Miss Connecticut Erin Brady reacts in horror as she is crowned Miss USA in Las Vegas on Sunday and suddenly realizes she is now officially the property of Donald Trump.

Steve Marcus/Reuters

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[shudder]

Steve Marcus/Reuters

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Rosie Huntington-Whiteley does not seem to be especially excited about attending the world premiere of the film Hummingbird with her boyfriend Jason Statham in London on Monday. Is the problem Jason Statham? Let’s take him out of the picture and see if her expression changes.

Stefan Wermuth/Reuters

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Nope.

Stefan Wermuth/Reuters

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Hey, Brad Pitt at the premiere of World War Z in New York on Monday – Jennifer Aniston called and she wants her hair back.

Lucas Jackson/Reuters

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So Billy Crystal is just standing there, and this mascot is doing that, and the event is called a “Tailgate Party,” and we’re not supposed to make anything out of it?

Mario Anzuoni/Reuters

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Meanwhile, at the MuchMusic Video Awards in Toronto on Sunday, Avril Lavigne wore a headpiece which, when turned inside out, replicates what it feels like to listen to her music.

Mark Blinch/Reuters

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Her fiancé Chad Kroeger wore the Nickelback version.

Darren Staples/Reuters

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Taylor Swift thinks about dating a lamp standard she just walked past at the MuchMusic Video Awards in Toronto on Sunday.

Mark Blinch/Reuters

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PSY keeps it so fresh and new at the MuchMusic Video Awards in Toronto on Sunday.

Aaron Vincent Elkaim/The Canadian Press

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“That was sarcasm, right?” asks Austin Mahone at the MuchMusic Video Awards in Toronto on Sunday. “Right?”

Nathan Denette/The Canadian Press

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It’s not Cody Simpson’s fault he reminds everyone of Justin Bieber or that he looks like Bieber and is being marketed along the same lines or that he has come along just as Bieber is vacating the teenybopper throne. Glad we established that.

Nathan Denette/The Canadian Press

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Ed Sheeran’s T-shirt choice wins the hearts of exactly no girls at the MuchMusic Video Awards in Toronto on Sunday.

Nathan Denette/The Canadian Press

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Either Henry Cavill is posing on the red carpet at the London premiere of Man of Steel last week or Tip Top Tailor is having another sale.

Eddie Keogh/Reuters

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Either Laura Linney is posing on the red carpet at the Women in Film Awards in Beverly Hills last week or Heidi’s House of Strudel is missing a waitress.

Mario Anzuoni/Reuters

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WILL SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!

Carlo Allegri/Reuters

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