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FACTS & ARGUMENTS

Everyone has their own challenges at the gym, but things look better once you see the bigger picture, Jenn Shenouda-Levine writes

Facts & Arguments is a daily personal piece submitted by readers. Have a story to tell? See our guidelines at tgam.ca/essayguide.

It's no big secret that going to the gym is an exotic experience for me, kind of like observing wild animals in their natural habitat. I'm the gal who always grabs the fourth slice of pizza, who has perfected the dent in my couch where I watch Netflix, who eats a half-dozen lemon ricotta doughnut holes because it's Monday.

After losing interest in the gym at the tender age of 15 as the result of a dramatic fainting spell, I am once again back in the land of bright lights and tight tights. As a full-fledged adult, I try to remember to hydrate and not drop weights on my fingers.

So, what brought me back, you may wonder.

In fact, I'm a gym infiltrator, taking part in a medical study on anxiety and exercise. This gives me a free membership for three months, so long as I monitor and log my mood after I exercise. In other words, I'm getting fit in the name of science! As your classic outsider, I feel it's my duty to report my findings on this strange mecca that is the modern-day gym to those who haven't stepped foot in one since Jean Chrétien was prime minister.

Although a lot has changed since my heyday (circa 2000), back when my metabolism was boss and I mostly just went to the gym to meet boys, a lot remains the same. The gym is still a place that can easily intimidate someone like me, whose current physique can best be described as dumpling-like.

On a fashion note, workout clothes have gotten so swanky and sophisticated that they almost look like a second skin now, with their splashes of swirls and patterns. This is in stark contrast to what I wear, mostly hand-me-downs from my mom, who has a penchant for lounge-wear. This makes me less of a gym bunny and more of a scruffy gym guinea pig. I tend to accessorize with a lot of pink as well: pink water bottle, pink bra, pink gym bag not exactly the colour of camouflage, but I'm working with what I have.

As for the music, it seems that these days it's more synthesized than ever, and the bands keep on looking younger and younger. How can people born in the 1990s already be in their late 20s? I solve this issue by bringing my own tunes. Seven years ago, my husband gifted me an iPod, which I loaded with songs and stuck in a drawer, until now.

While others are listening to Drake, I've got Meatloaf on a steady rotation. What can I say? I was going through an emotive phase. I sometimes wonder if people can read my lips as I'm emphatically lip-syncing, "And I would do anything for love, but I won't do that," on the elliptical.

One thing that boggles my mind is how modern gyms still come equipped with tanning beds. Didn't we discover this was bad for you a long time ago? It's as counterintuitive as lighting a cigarette while running. Could you imagine the level of Don Draper badass-ness you would achieve if you did this? Banned from the gym for life! And then there's the softer side of the gym, which has me digging the whole experience. Although my only children right now are a cat and a fish, I can see how the fact that gyms offer daycare is appealing for parents. It also kind of freaks me out that I'm at a point in my life where I notice that as a plausible perk.

The gym also has an excellent array of trashy television that I normally wouldn't indulge in. I once cycled until my legs went limp because I needed to find out who won a bake-off on the cooking show Spring Baking Championship. And did I mention that gyms also have things like massage chairs and steam rooms? Did steam rooms in gyms exist before the millennium? If so, I never noticed. But now I'm soaking it all in, or rather, out.

All jokes aside, I try to look beyond the small details that can initially turn people off the gym and grab hold of the bigger picture.

I notice the grandparents working out for the heart health and the young athletes trying to better their game. I remind myself that even the most dazzling gym-goers have their challenges, and I try to cut them, and myself, a break. Because the truth is that exercising has made my brain feel better. Health practitioners will always tell you that this will happen, but it's only when you start to notice that you're less tired and singing to yourself that you appreciate how much endorphins matter.

I may not have lost a pound since I've hit the gym, but the mental baggage I ditched at the door is remarkable, and for that I'm elated.

Jenn Shenouda-Levine lives in Toronto.