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From Sex: Our Bodies, Our Junk

Places to discuss or initiate sex

Pick-up line: "I would love to kiss you." Ideal location: atop the Eiffel Tower. Less-than-ideal location: inside a corrugated tin hut as you interview the leader of Aryan nations for Hadassah magazine.

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That first time: a night, afternoon or car wash to remember

Something to consider: You won't always know when the magical moment is upon you, so it's a good idea to carry a blanket, a pillow, sheets and a box of smelling salts (optional).

Make sure you're actually using condoms

If you find your condoms consistently unravel into rainbow nylon streamers, it's because you've been using wind socks.

From The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex

Cupid's toolbox

Pick-up line (if you just delivered a baby in the back seat of a cab): "Say you'll get dinner with me or I'll put it back."

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Tips on coming out

Come out one body part at a time: Start with a flaming gay pinky toe. Then try being light in only one loafer. Before you know it, everyone will be dying for that frumpy last straight hair to fall out so the party can really start.

The improved porn name formula

Favourite alcoholic beverage + biggest insecurity = Chardonnay Mathematics, Gimlet Stutter, Julep Incontinence (examples).



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