How to bluff your way through the Super Bowl

Is the Super Bowl the first football game you've watched since, well, last year's Super Bowl? Worried that you won't fit in with the pigskin diehards? Here's how to fake it.

DO THIS

Pick a team: Not rooting for anyone is going to give you away as a tourist in this world faster than the words, "When do they shoot the penalty shots?"

Share some trivia: Mention that the Packers are the only team to have won three consecutive NFL titles or that Ben Roethlisberger led the Steelers to a 15-1 record as a rookie quarterback in 2004. You'll be golden. Sports fans love trivia. Sharing some proves you are part of the tribe.

Reference Super Bowl history: This is a day that's all about tradition, so work some into conversation, even if it's a casual mention that you loved last year's win by the New Orleans Saints. Then sit back and listen to everyone weigh in on their favourite Super Bowls of years gone by.

Ask questions: Go ahead and ask away. Why are they called the Packers? Who's that guy? Because sports fans love to share knowledge. Just be sure to keep the queries for in-between plays.

DON'T DO THIS

Get up during a play: No one likes the guy who decides he needs to grab a beer from the kitchen and blocks the view when a touchdown drive is on. Wait for a whistle to go wet your whistle.

Wonder aloud why they're not punting on the third down: Unlike the CFL, the NFL plays a four-down system. To strike up a fiery debate, float the idea that the CFL's three-down system makes for a more exciting game.

Complain in the wrong way: Never say: "This is boring." Instead, say: "Someone needs to make a big play." And never say: "This is too slow." Instead, go with: "No one's got any momentum going right now."

Talk about anything other than football: Gabbing about the weather or who's going to win big at the Oscars is not cool, people. This day is all football, all the time. If you want to talk about anything else, take it to another room.