Skip to main content

The Globe and Mail

Lesson learned: You can be the worst woman of all time, and still get a date

"On a typical Friday night I am: knockin the cups out of homeless ppls hands, its soooo funny to watch them try to pick it all up lolllll"

"I spend a lot of time thinking about: desining a line of dog close with maching iphone cases, soooo cute <3"

Meet the Worst Woman on Earth. Thankfully – she doesn't actually exist. But LA writer Alli Reed has proven that even this fictional woman whom Reid made an online dating account for, complete with cute photo, can still attract functioning, literate men.

Story continues below advertisement

If you need to cringe more today, might I suggest taking a read through her account of the experiment – which has been viewed over three million times. The sampling of the communication she had with hopeful suitors (gems include offering to rip a man's tooth out, while he persistently asks for a date) is pure gold.

Reed said she wanted to "prove that there exists an online dating profile so loathsome that no man would message it."

She was wrong: "She got 150 messages in 24 hours."

Sure, the blatant disregard for grammar, the gross personality – it's all horrifying and hilarious, and makes for entertaining reading. But what's truly shocking is the reaction to Reed's story: Barbara Walters and her ilk agreed on The View this morning that Reed's experiment proves that if you're cute, "nothing else matters." Wrong.

(The wise Whoopi Goldberg then chimed in, stating that men without money wouldn't ever get a date, right before I swore at my TV and promptly turned it off.)

Reed also received much Twitter hate: People called her a man hater for conducting the experiment. Also, obviously, wrong.

To anyone who has ever online dated, this experiment should not come as a surprise: your photo is all most people will care about.

Story continues below advertisement

And some daters mass message all women online . (I was once told by an intolerable man on OkCupid that "It's a numbers game, sweetie.")

I'm no online dating expert (though I did give a mostly awful try, and offered some handy tips), but I've learned that there are far more World's Worst Person than keepers.

And I've also gleaned that some people on the Internet – I hope you're sitting down – are only interested in sex.

The Internet is not real life, my friends. Let me repeat: the Internet is not real life. Sign up for any dating site and you'll learn people are rarely who they claim to be.

Follow me on Twitter: @amberlym

Report an error Licensing Options
About the Author
Editor in the Opinion section

Amberly McAteer is an editor in the Opinion section at The Globe and Mail. She has been a homepage editor, online editor and community editor in Features - including Life, Travel, Style, Arts and Books. She's written columns about her quest to run a 10K and find the perfect dog. More

Comments

The Globe invites you to share your views. Please stay on topic and be respectful to everyone. For more information on our commenting policies and how our community-based moderation works, please read our Community Guidelines and our Terms and Conditions.

We’ve made some technical updates to our commenting software. If you are experiencing any issues posting comments, simply log out and log back in.

Discussion loading… ✨