"Mom, Dad, it's me Thomas. Where do I start? This was supposed to be a small get-together. I wanted to be cool for one night. I wanted girls to notice me. Then things got a little out of control."
The trembling words come from the nerdy protagonist of Project X , a new film about an out-of-control teenage bash that's being blamed for a string of copycat parties in the United States ever since its release earlier this month.
Billed as "a celebration of bad behaviour," the film is a Red Bull vodka-torqued take on the Revenge of the Nerds .
"Tonight's about the girls we never had a shot at. Tonight's about changing the game," Thomas warbles ahead of his disastrously over-subscribed house party, rich in bikini briefs, cannon balls, firecrackers, cars in swimming pools and police in riot gear.
Project X-inspired parties have not ended so well: A spring break rave that attracted nearly 1,000 guests to a Houston, TX, mansion this week ended in fatality after revellers fired guns in a rammed parking lot.
"Trash cans full of spiked punch were set out for partygoers. Wet foam blanketed the floor. Women who wore bathing suits were granted free entry to the party, according to the flyer," ABC reported.
News of the party spread like wildfire over Facebook and Twitter, and the property was conveniently surrounded by a field.
"The house got pretty full. You could barely move around," college student Daniel Menjivara told ABC.
Before that, 13 teenagers were arrested after throwing a party and destroying an empty $500,000 home in one of the city's new developments. All the windows were smashed and walls kicked in.
"I asked some of the kids why, and they said 'Project X.' And I said, 'what's Project X?'" a baffled private investigator working for the home builder told ABC.
In Florida, another teen allegedly caused $19,000 worth of damage to a foreclosed home in preparation for another film-inspired shindig. "Project X" had been spray painted on a wall, "break me" on a window. Although the 18-year-old was arrested before the party, nearly 2,000 people showed up anyway.
What will you do if your kid tries to throw a Project X party this spring?