Skip to main content

The Globe and Mail

Naming a baby? Who needs creativity when you’ve got the Internet

The Internet is a useful tool for answering many pressing questions: what's for dinner, what's happening today, what does a fox say, etc. All important queries.

One of those questions, though, should never, ever be: What should I name my unborn daughter?

That's exactly what a Kelowna, B.C., couple has decided to do – and, I hope you're sitting down, the name with the highest number of votes is absolutely bizarre.

Story continues below advertisement

"Hi, my name is Stephen and much to the disbelief of my wife, I have decided to let the internet name* my daughter," his voting website states.

According to HuffPo, the idea came to Stephen McLaughlin one day after work. A software developer, the father-to-be said to his wife (apparently the most easy going woman on the planet), "'You know, I should ask the Internet because that's what I do for a living."

Pardon?

What happened to sentiment? To creativity? To naming your offspring something that means just a little something to you, rather than ask a giant pool of complete strangers looking for a laugh?

(Note: This outrage is coming from a girl whose parents named her after a quaint town they went camping in years before she was born. I inherently believe taking the time to name your kid something just a little special tells the child you think they're special.)

He says he'll have a have a funny story to tell his daughter at her wedding (pretty sure she'll have questions before that, sir.)

And sure, we know celebrities have a lot of er, creative license with their child's name (just ask Apple or Blue Ivy), but at least those kids have the excuse of "that's what happens when your dad is the king of rap."

Story continues below advertisement

If McLaughlin's whole idea sounds fantastically tacky and has traces of a useless publicity stunt, there's this: a caveat that in effect vetoes the whole process. "We will ultimately be making the final decision, Alas my daughter shall not be named WackyTaco692."

Megatron is terrifyingly, though unsurprisingly, slowly climbing to the top of the McLaughlin's list. And the name in the lead so far?

Brace yourselves, world. Cthulhu All-Spark is on her way.

Report an error Licensing Options
About the Author
Editor in the Opinion section

Amberly McAteer is an editor in the Opinion section at The Globe and Mail. She has been a homepage editor, online editor and community editor in Features - including Life, Travel, Style, Arts and Books. She's written columns about her quest to run a 10K and find the perfect dog. More

Comments

The Globe invites you to share your views. Please stay on topic and be respectful to everyone. For more information on our commenting policies and how our community-based moderation works, please read our Community Guidelines and our Terms and Conditions.

We’ve made some technical updates to our commenting software. If you are experiencing any issues posting comments, simply log out and log back in.

Discussion loading… ✨