With speculation about who will occupy the city council seat vacated by Vision Vancouver's Geoff Meggs reaching fever pitch this week, all sorts of names have been bandied about as potential replacements.
Mr. Meggs, you may have heard, is on his way to Victoria to take up the post of chief of staff for premier-designate John Horgan. It's not unfamiliar territory for Mr. Meggs, who was a key part of then-NDP premier Glen Clark's team back in what the BC Liberals will tell were the dark days of the 1990s.
On the civic front, there are many questions at this early stage.
Will former school board trustee Patti Bacchus take a run at council under the Vision banner, even though the by-election could include the reinstatement of an elected Vancouver School Board?
Will one-time NPA mayoral candidate Kirk LaPointe hang up his headphones at his Roundhouse Radio gig to give it another shot, this time with a year on council and a brief voting record under his belt?
Or will he have to battle currently not-elected-to-anything name-tag enthusiast Suzanne Anton for the nomination?
Will the Green Party put forward the logical choice – Pete Fry – and finally get him elected to something?
Will COPE look forward, rather than back, perhaps choosing former Bowen Island mayor Lisa Barrett for sheer entertainment value?
Or will some upstart independent crack the city's at-large system, which favours candidates belonging to electoral organizations that sit on piles of money from developers?
They are all, to some degree, plausible choices, but they lack imagination. I like the dark horses. The really dark horses. Horses so dark, they're invisible.
Consider if you will:
NPA
Philip Owen and George Puil job-sharing: Sure, they may not be as spry as they used to be but, between the two of them, they have 372 years of council experience. They would serve the NPA well for their institutional memory as well as their scolding. Trading off council and committee meeting duties would allow both to nap. Also, both look great in grey suits, especially when outraged.
Allan DeGenova: The former Park Board commissioner, city councillor and one-time mayoral-nomination hopeful has boundless energy and passion. His election would mark the first father-daughter team on council, and likely lead to a new standard of excitability when it came to council debates.
Carole Taylor: Come on, a party can dream, can't it?
Vision Vancouver
Tim Stevenson: Although the veteran city councillor and former NDP MLA has been absent from public life of late, his resumption of council duties would be a welcome surprise to his many supporters.
Chip Wilson: Vision could use someone, besides the mayor, with an entrepreneurial bent. He could do for yoga what the mayor has done for bikes. He can afford to finance his own campaign – and everyone else's.
Raymond Louie's not-evil twin: Because we know he's out there somewhere.
COPE
Harry Rankin's ghost: Yes, he may, technically, be less of a communist than Mr. Meggs. After all, Mr. Rankin only belonged to a communist club at UBC, rather than the actual Communist party. He was a champion of the underdog and the conscience of the city. If he returned to earth in some ghostly form and took a good look at what was going on around this city, he would never stop throwing up.
Raul Castro: With the United States about to reverse its position on Cuba, Mr. Castro may be looking for a change. He has already indicated that his time as President is limited. He is likely to win the approval of COPE co-chair and former city councillor Tim Louis.
Green Party
David Suzuki: They wish.
Independents
Brian "Godzilla" Salmi: The former Rhino Party candidate remains in self-imposed exile in Montenegro and might be convinced to dust off the toiletpaper-roll Rhino horn and green bodysuit. Frankly, the city has been poorer since his departure.
James Green: Remember him? He's the guy who got 4,273 votes in the 2005 municipal election – the same election that saw Vision Vancouver's mayoral candidate Jim Green lose to Sam Sullivan by 3,747 votes. Throwing him into the mix might make a big mess of things.
Lord Buckethead: Like many others, he may be considering leaving Great Britain right about now. Also, his slogan is, "The most powerful protest vote in the galaxy." So there's that.
Stephen Quinn is the host of On the Coast on CBC Radio One, 88.1 FM and 690 AM in Vancouver.