Former Premier of Newfoundland Brian Tobin, (left) and wife Jodean Tobin (right) escort their son Jack Tobin (centre) out of Ottawa court following his release on bond for $100,000 for being charged in the death of a man in a Christmas Eve accident in Ottawa on Saturday, December 25, 2010.Pawel Dwulit/The Canadian Press
Young adults used to spending holidays happily recconecting with old friends have found themselves gathering instead to mourn one.
Under a warm winter sky, a funeral was held for 24-year-old Alex Zolpis, who died in an Ottawa parking lot on Christmas Eve.
But the hour-long Catholic ceremony wasn't attended by the family of the man charged in connection with his death.
Jack Tobin, the son of former Newfoundland premier Brian Tobin, faces two impaired driving charges related to the accident in a downtown parking lot.
In a statement, the Tobin family says it decided to stay away due to intense media interest and the Zolpis family's desire for privacy.
Mr. Zolpis was remembered as a fun-loving man who was quick with a joke and always had a smile on his face
He leaves behind his parents, a sister and a long-time girlfriend, but also a grieving best friend.
The pair had gone to high school and university together, part of what Brian Tobin described as "a small group of friends who were all very close."
Jack Tobin was released from jail on Christmas Day on a $100,000 bond and the terms of his release suggest he won't be able to attend the funeral.
His family has said they are devastated by the accident, though the Zolpis family has said little in public.
They are not the only families suffering this holiday season.
A review of media reports suggests at least four people have been killed and 10 injured in crashes where police suspect alcohol was a factor, in the last week.
"The tragedy for families is that it is a life sentence no matter what," said Denise Dubyk, the national president of Mothers Against Drunk Driving.
"It happens all year around but at this time of year, it just is more tragic."
The Zolpis family is requesting donations be made in Alex's memory to M.A.D.D.
The gamut of emotions run by families whose loved ones die in car accidents ranges from outright fury to forgiveness.
Judges do take the victim's family's perspective into account when sentencing an accused.
One of the charges Mr. Tobin faces carries a maximum sentence of life in prison.
In November, an Esquimalt, B.C. man was sentenced to four years in prison for killing his friend in a drunk driving accident.
But outside court, the victim's mother told reporters the sentence didn't mean she had won.
"His mother and grandmother are devastated and ashamed," Donna Rendle said, according to a published interview.
"It's bad all the way 'round."
In a high-profile car accident a few years ago, forgiveness in part helped the victim's family heal.
As NHL player Dan Snyder lay in intensive care, his mother learned that the man responsible for putting him there was in an adjoining hospital room, his leg shackled to the bed.
Hours earlier, Dany Heatley had been at the wheel of a Ferrari speeding down an Atlanta street, and Snyder had been his passenger.
Mr. Heatley, an NHL star, lost control of the car and it smashed into a brick wall.
Alcohol was not a factor in this crash.
He was badly injured, but his friend Dan had been hurt far worse and was in a coma.
But the Snyder family didn't want Mr. Heatley to remain in chains, either those attaching him to his bedside or those of a prison cell.
LuAnn Snyder told the cops to take the shackles off so Mr. Heatley's mother wouldn't have to see them.
Dan Snyder died several days later.
Mr. Heatley was later sentenced to three years probation in connection with the accident.
According to a book written about the accident, the Snyder family had decided early on there would be no blame laid at Mr. Heatley's feet.
"It was a long lonely ride for him too," LuAnn Snyder told author John Manasso.
"That's what's there in our heart. We felt, too, from a point of view that we feel strongly, it was an accident."