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Welcome visitors to Canada here for our summits. If you don't feel safe you should. Our secret agents aren't worried about you and your well-being. It is those nefarious politicos in our provinces and municipalities that keep them up at night.

He doesn't look like James Bond in fact he resembles Mr. Rogers with the same gentle demeanor. Yet Richard Fadden, the head of CSIS, is now the pin-up boy for a spy-master gone mad.

Friends I know who have worked with Fadden speak extremely highly of him. They trusted him implicitly and never complained about his judgment. Whether he temporarily lost the plot or was engaging in some deliberate agitprop we may never know.

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But if he and his spooks are spying on politicians in the regions here are some suggested targets. Watch all those Newfoundlanders. They are in their own minds a foreign power whose entire purpose is to convert Canada to the virtues of their wisdom.

Open the books on Ralph Klein. Clearly we has in co-hoots with non-aligned national interests. What else could explain his colorful behavior and memorable antics. Look to European distillers and international brewers for clues.

Then there is the Bloc Quebecois and their provincial brethren the Parti Quebecois. The mission of both is to break up Canada. Oh wait that is publicly known so never mind. We the taxpayers of Canada as token of thanks for their divisive ways fund the pensions of qualifying Bloc members. What kind of wild insurrection is that?

Break out the truth serum for anyone interested in running for the Communist Party of Canada (Ontario). We all need to know what the hell you are thinking.

In the event you are unaware the Berlin Wall fell. The guys in the shadows can show you the photos.

Leaders, delegates, media and all guests enjoy your time in Canada. We're glad you are here. For all you need to know about Canadian espionage watch our state broadcaster the CBC's two-part interview with our Chief Spy. We do it differently in the Great White North. Secrets who needs them anyway?

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