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About that Conservative ballot-box grab in Guelph…

Students at the University of Guelph hold a vote mob prior to a campaign stop by Tory Leader Stephen Harper on April 4, 2011.

CHRIS WATTIE/REUTERS

I don't want to get anyone in trouble but I just got an advance copy of the Conservative Party's new speaking points responding to allegations that Michael Sona, the communications director for Guelph Tory candidate Marty Burke tried to put an end to student voting at the University of Guelph by trying to grab the ballot box.

The Conservative speaking points are as follows:

» Michael Ignatieff caused this unnecessary election. If he and his coalition partners hadn't caused an unnecessary election, we wouldn't be forced to grab for ballot boxes. We would rather be running the strongest economy in world history than grabbing for ballot boxes but Ignatieff gave us no choice.

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» iPod tax!

» Canadians don't care about political operatives grabbing for ballot boxes or parties suppressing the rights of university students from voting; they care about the economy. A Maoist like Ignatieff can't be trusted with the economy. And once he's done with the economy, just imagine what he'll do with our democracy. Mao did way worse than grab ballot boxes, we think. It wasn't really part of our pre-writ opposition research so we have no files on Mao.

» Mao brought in a giant iPod tax - we're sure of it.

» As they say, anyone who would introduce an iPod tax, would introduce an iPad tax. And if anyone buys that new RIM tablet, Ignatieff would tax that too. Nobody will, but if they did, tax!

» If the speaking points above aren't working, quickly switch to the following: Michael Sona is no longer the communications director for the Conservative candidate in Guelph. He never really was. We think he was always a Liberal. We've checked and he was wearing a red T-shirt in a picture on his Facebook page. Obviously a Grit. We don't know why the Liberals tried to grab the ballot box in Guelph today. What's Ignatieff thinking? This isn't how democracy is done in this country. It may have something to do with his Maoist past.

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