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People of Canada, lend me your ears.

I am Michael the Great. I have returned to Canada to save you from yourselves and that Stephen Harper.

You should be very grateful that I left Harvard and made this sacrifice for you.

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It matters little what I stand for because it truly is all about me and why I am good for you.

No one is better than I. When Dion beat me it was a fluke. And surely now people see what a mistake it was not to elect me. I do.

The Liberals deserve power because, well, that is required for you the public. I know this because I am wiser than all.

Spending $300-million to run this popularity contest is in my best interest.

Vote I for Ignatieff and I guarantee I will be the best because that is what I have always been anyway.

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