False T, the showman,
Had a mouth that wouldn't quit.
When he wowed the throng, all his facts were wrong,
But he didn't care one whit.
False T, the showman,
Who had mocked Obama's birth,
Said he now had twigged
That the vote was rigged,
Though of proof there was a dearth.
There's really something tragic in the way his lies trumped fact.
When anyone took issue, he complained of being attacked.
False T, the showman,
Is the president-elect.
And to play his tunes,
He appoints tycoons.
Will the Congress genuflect?
Oh Comey, ye fateful
FBI director.
Talk of new e-mails
Sapped Cli-nton's surge.
Later he'd broadcast
There was nothing damning.
But not before he'd sprinted
To Congressmen and hinted
That new sins might be mi-inted.
Cru-ush the lead.
A wade in the maelstrom
Of pipeline ado.
PM Justin Trudeau
Nixed one, favoured two.
The oil reaches tankers.
The tankers increase.
The argument's settled.
Well, no. It won't cease.
O little team of vote reform,
How stalled the prospects stay.
The Lib'ral members wouldn't sign
And argued for delay.
The feds unveiled a survey
To see how many care.
It's this or that, or just stand pat.
What vote will get us there?
Vexed, the Brits said yes to Brexit.
Fa la la la la, la la ta-ta.
But the court's harsh words may hex it.
Fa la la la la, la flaw flaw flaw.
Parliament must vote, the court said.
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
So Theresa May was thwarted.
Fa la la la la, la bah bah bah.
No, she countered with derision.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
We'll appeal that wrong decision.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Unelected courts! How dare they
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Give elected MPs their say?
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Hark the hallowed anthems ring.
Leonard Cohen's on the wing.
Here's the halo. Here's the harp.
Keep the hat. It looks real sharp.
Your guitar's here, plus piano.
Glad you're not one more soprano.
Bet the songs will please the choir.
Sing that bird one with the wire.
Hark, the herald angels sing.
Hallelujah's just the thing.
Jinx on knells –
Take Fidel's.
Should the man be mourned?
Justin called him "legendary," then was roundly sco-orned.
Fun'ral show:
Who will go?
Oops, not me. Trip's canned.
Cuba's leader laid to rest
With the second string on hand.
Goo king OPEC vowed to slice
Some of its production.
Just enough to goose oil's price,
Not to spur construction.
Oil stocks rose upon the news,
Though it's just a promise.
Given all the past snafus
Cue the doubting Tho-omas.
Rude Don, the orange-haired groper,
Has a temper often lost.
He likes to tweet on Twitter.
Doesn't stop to count the cost.
After Taiwan's pres called him,
You could hear Beijing's eyes pop.
Trump answered with a tirade –
Bully in a China shop.
Diplomatic niceties
Aren't what Trump does well.
Hope he's much more tough to goad
When he's near the nuclear code.
Oh, how the boffins shudder
As he shakes the foreign tree.
Rude Don, the orange-haired groper,
You remain a mystery.
On the twelfth day of gridlock,
Commuting meant for me:
Twelve workers working,
Eleven of them watching,
Ten fenders bending,
Nine walkers wending,
Eight cyclists swerving,
Seven buses curving,
Six sudden sinkholes,
Five stalled rigs.
Four crawling grids,
Three fresh honks,
Two totalled trucks
And a parker in a quand'ry.
I saw a ship get trailed again
In Arctic bays, in Arctic bays –
A Franklin ship where it had lain
For decades after its mourning.
An Inuk scout revealed the way,
In Arctic bays, in Arctic bays.
The Terror lay in Terror Bay.
You can't say there was no warning.
Check the halls for Samsung's
folly.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Watch Note 7 burn, by golly.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Batteries have not impressed us.
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Don we now our best asbestos.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
See the blazing tool exploding.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Data hadn't finished loading.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Screen has melted to a puddle.
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
See the many lawyers huddle.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
We free kings of motoring are
Texting while we pilot our car.
Speeds exceeding
While we're reading.
Where is our avatar?
Oh-oh....
Those on foot look
As they queue
At their Facebook,
Texting, too.
Male and female
Checking e-mail.
What's that sudden ballyhoo?
The first Nobel
A folk singer scored
Went to Dylan for poems
He set to a chord.
In schools where kids
Are learning guitar,
There's a new goal to aim for –
A Nobel pop star.
Nobel, Nobel, Nobel, Nobel:
Write like Munro does, and sing like Adele.
Silent bite. Violent mite.
Skeeter's meal. Zika's fright.
Arms and shoulders, smother with DEET.
Missed a spot? You'll have to repeat.
Deep in ev-e-ry cre-ease.
Steep in it without surcease.
Hack the walls that house our info.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Hey, where did my brand-new PIN go?
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Have the Russians hacked our e-mails?
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Will they spill our secret details?
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Sites we thought were safe are porous.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Smack your head and wail in chorus.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Sign on with a hard-to-grasp word.
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
"Password" was a lousy password.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Hear the snow. Is it lasting?
Record rains. Heat is blasting.
The weather is wild.
Is Mother Earth riled?
Waking in a wonder-whither land.
Climate change is upon us.
What's in store? Are we goners?
Tornados one day'll
Give way to a gale.
Wilting in a wonder-whither land.
Maybe we can try to build a snowman,
Though it's rather odd in mid-July.
Floods and fires are always on the go, man.
Would you rather freeze or drown or fry?
We endure nasty weather,
Trying to keep it together.
There's seldom a lull.
At least it's not dull.
Wacky in a wonder-whither land.
– Warren Clements