Kristen Syvette Wimberly, a 25-year-old Texas woman, has filed a lawsuit against a former high-school classmate, Lara Madden. Ms. Wimberly alleges that because their friendship ended badly, Ms. Madden sought revenge by employing the alias "Syvette Wimberly" as an actress in the adult-film industry.
The Smoking Gun website revealed the documents this week, causing court watchers everywhere to remember their own high-school years and ask themselves the question that legal analysts confirm lies at the very crux of the case: If I were able to humiliate just one of my high-school rivals in this manner, which one would I pick?
Ms. Wimberly claims she was devastated to learn that Ms. Madden was using her name while acting in such films as Voyeur Vision 2. She is seeking damages for "humiliation, embarrassment, loss of enjoyment of life, emotional distress, mental anguish, anxiety" and a host of other synonyms. A win, however, is not inevitable.
"It's a tricky case," observes Yale law professor Rita Langly. "There are complex issues here relating to defamation, copyright, the defendant's intent and … hell, you know what? I'd have made Voyeur Vision 2 if I could have done it under the name of that stuck-up bitch Brenda Healy."
Ms. Madden acknowledges appropriating Ms. Wimberly's moniker, but insists she did so only because she thought it was "really cool."
In an interesting twist, she suggests that the real Ms. Wimberly has a lot to answer for: "Until I heard the name Syvette Wimberly, I was in the gifted stream with an eye on med school. And then one day in the cafeteria Kristen Wimberly casually mentions to me that her middle name is Syvette and I think, 'Wow, Syvette Wimberly.' Next thing I know I'm buck naked in L.A. making Irresistibly Delicious.
"Syvette Wimberly is a perfect porn name, although there were times during the filming of North Pole #56 that I began to think the name 'Dr. Lara Madden' might have been pretty cool as well," she added. "Kristen took that away from me. I'm considering a countersuit. Why'd she need to go telling me her sexy-ass name in the first place?"
The name appropriation has been difficult for his client, the lawyer for the original Ms. Wimberly insisted in an interview with ABC News: "She's a real nice, innocent girl and wants to be a mom and have a family. … [She]just doesn't want to be associated with the adult-film industry."
That fact might come as a disappointment to her parents. It seems likely that when they chose the name Syvette, they probably had "porn actress" in mind. It's quite conceivable that her older sister got a stripper name, little sis Shàndy is a hooker and the lovely Crysteel is a magician's assistant. But of course, the important thing is that young Syvette is happy.
So far, court observers report that the judges' response to the case has been unusual. Judge Emma Stevenson reportedly paused upon hearing the plaintiff's case, leafed through the documents and then said, "Sorry, but did you say Syvette Wimberly? Court will take a brief recess while I consider a career change. That name just gets you thinking," she added, kicking off her shoes and starting to unbutton her robe.
This reporter awaits the verdict, but notes that as a method of revenge, starring in Her First Lesbian Sex Vol. 4 seems like rather a long way to go. Sure, there were girls I didn't care for in high school, but I never humiliated Tracy Murdock by adopting her name and appearing in Eighteen and Hitchhiking. Also, my locker partner, Lola Pretty-Tits, stole my pen. That was kind of tempting, but I let it go.
Tabatha Southey is a Toronto-based writer.