H&M's bootie-shaking flash dance is so 2007

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Who knew Edmontonians considered Calgary as bad as booze or methamphetamines? A new campaign from Edmonton's Donovan Creative Communications challenges the city's fine folk to Stop the Calgary habit - namely, the use of Calgary International Airport over Edmonton International. "I had a Calgary habit," says a businessman in a hyperactively edited, washed-out TV spot. "Started out pretty innocent. Just the odd connection. Then the driving started. Next thing I knew, I was booking everything there." He looks down. "Calgary," he says in a tremulous voice. " I feel so ashamed." The campaign includes radio, print and some cheeky billboards that appear to show workers draping a banner over a road sign. The idea is that if more Edmontonians used EIA, it might regain its status as a truly international hub. Sounds reasonable. We just hope Donovan isn't trying to score any Calgary accounts in the near future. Simon Houpt

Don't you just love flash mobs? They're so cool and original. Oh, hold on. For a moment we thought it was 2007. Once upon a time, flash mobs were a fun intrusion into our daily lives; in person, they were thrilling, like being at the contemporary equivalent of a '60s art world happening, where people broke into song or dance, or gathered in a Claire's store for a few minutes, then dispersed as if nothing unusual had taken place. And it was fun to watch the resulting videos go viral. But once marketers got hold of the idea, it quickly became a sign of creative desperation. Last weekend, H&M sent 55 kids and tweens into a hip hop dance battle in San Francisco's Union Square, in which they popped limbs and shook their booties in an inappropriately sexualized manner to the strains of Izza Kizza's Set it Off. Yes, we watched it on YouTube, but it didn't endear us to H&M. And we'd like to believe flash mobs are like the Paris Hilton, or maybe Sarah Palin, of advertising: If you just ignore them, they'll go away. Simon Houpt

Yvonne Hunter, Penguin Books Canada

Early-bird commuters in Vancouver, Edmonton, Calgary and Toronto got a treat yesterday morning when Metro newspapers street teams gave away 500 hardcover copies in each city of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, the Swedish mystery thriller that's looking like the next Dan Brown-ish phenom, except it's by a writer who could actually write. More than 27 million copies are now in print worldwide of Stieg Larson's so-called Millennium Trilogy, of which Dragon is the first, and while the 350,000 units sold so far in Canada are impressive, Penguin believes there's a lot more room to grow, especially since the third book hasn't even been published in North America, and the film adaptation is due out Apr. 16. "It's a great subway read," said Yvonne Hunter, the vice-president of publicity and marketing for Penguin Group (Canada). And while a 480-page, two-pound tome is a heavy addition to any commuter's burden, it's a page-turner. "Everybody who reads it becomes quite addicted to it," noted Ms. Hunter. Still, no excuses for missing your stop. Simon Houpt

Feeling impatient?

Research from the University of Toronto suggests the mere sight of a fast-food logo can make us impatient. In one experiment, researchers flashed a fast-food logo on a screen so quickly participants could not identify what they saw. This unconscious exposure, however, caused them to speed up subsequent tasks. The conclusion: "Fast food represents a culture of time efficiency and instant gratification." The researchers couldn't say whether fast food caused the impatience or was itself a product of an impatient society. It's like asking which came first: the Chicken McNugget or the Egg McMuffin? Dianne Nice

Look who's making a movie

Remember Look Who's Talking and Baby Geniuses? We'd sort of like to forget them ourselves, except rumours that 20th Century Fox is planning a movie based on the E*Trade babies won't let us. Website Pajiba reports actor and writer Katie Dippold of Parks and Recreation will write the script. We bet "milkaholic Lindsay" will have a starring role, unless fame has already gone to her head, like certain other young female celebrities. Evian's marketers must be kicking themselves for not thinking of this when their roller-skating babies went viral. Maybe they can appear in the inevitable sequel. Dianne Nice

From Old Spice to Oprah

Another newfound celebrity milking viral video success for all it's worth is Isaiah Mustafa, also known as " The Man Your Man Could Smell Like." The Old Spice pitchman has generated so much online buzz since his Super Bowl ad aired, he has been interviewed by several U.S. talk show hosts, including Ellen DeGeneres, and is slated to chat with Oprah on Monday. Before Old Spice, Mr. Mustafa was a fairly obscure actor and NFL wide receiver. With more than six million online views and counting, can a movie starring the equestrian sailor who turns "tickets for that thing you love" into diamonds be far behind?  Dianne Nice

Drive safe, dickhead

Australians in the state of Victoria are peeved their government is using their tax dollars to pay for ads that swear at their children. The transportation ministry, VicRoads, approved the series of nine ads that urge youth to use seatbelts and avoid cellphones while driving, using the tagline: "Don't be a dickhead." The government refused to apologize for the foul language in the ads, which were approved by its Psychology Advisory Group as the best way to get a reaction from young drivers. We'll have to remember that advice next time we're stuck behind a slow-moving driving school vehicle. Dianne Nice

Charity begins at home

Here's one more reason to hate telemarketers: They're driving better cars than you. The U.S. Federal Trade Commission has ordered the operators of a New Jersey-based telemarketing scheme to pay back nearly $19-million (U.S.) for leading consumers to believe they were donating all proceeds to charities when, in fact, the charities received a fraction of donations. The rest was pocketed by the two owners of the operation, who must now hand over their multimillion-dollar homes, paintings by Picasso and Van Gogh, as well as three Mercedes, two Bentleys, a Range Rover and a Cadillac Escalade. Dianne Nice