Skip to main content
rob magazine

FILE - In this Feb. 14, 2010 file photo, news anchor Barbie, left, and computer engineer Barbie are arranged for a photo at the New York Toy Fair. A new study published Thursday, Jan. 26, 2017, in the journal Science suggests that girls as young as 6 can be led to believe that men are inherently smarter and more talented than women, making them less motivated to pursue novel activities and ambitious careers. That such stereotypes exist is hardly a surprise, but the findings show that the biases can affect children at a very young age. (AP Photo/Mark Lennihan, File)The Associated Press

Dear Corporate Governess,
How do I deal with a male client who consistently dismisses my ideas but is a total suck-up to my male colleague, who isn't even the lead on the project? 
—Jillian M., Toronto

Dear Jillian,
I asked jerk guru Robert I. Sutton, author of The Asshole Survival Guide and a Stanford University professor, to answer this. It's a situation he says his attorney wife has faced multiple times. He advises you to first assess how important this client is to your organization. You could possibly fire a minor client but, if he's essential, you've got to figure out how to live with it. This isn't textbook harassment—just the standard sexist—so pick your battles.

But, before you label this guy an asshole, consider that he may just be clueless. Start with that assumption, and try teasing him by saying, "It's really cute how you two boys get along so well, but I'm the boss here." A lot depends on whether you're comfortable with joking, but sometimes that stuff just works.

You could also have a conversation with your underling, asking him to publicly show some deference to you (it's something Sutton's wife occasionally did with young male attorneys who were getting out of control). You should give your junior colleague some lines to say to the client, such as, "That's a great point, but I'd better check with my boss, Jillian."

If the subtle stuff doesn't work, then get tougher. Leaning a bit toward being more assertive, even if you get labelled as a bitch, is a better career strategy than being labelled as a nice, sweet doormat.

Dear Corporate Governess,
Last year I ended up getting gifts from a bunch of people at work and had nothing to give in return. This year I want to be ready. Do you have any pointers?
—Bruno T., Edmonton

Dear Bruno,
Stock your desk with vintage wines in classy gift bags. Even if the person doesn't drink, wine is useful for entertaining. Plus, if you have leftovers, you can enjoy them yourself. One caveat: Make an exception if you know alcohol definitely wouldn't be welcome—in that case, consider a fancy box of chocolate truffles or a hardcover from the bestseller list. Be especially kind to any support staff by tucking in a generous gift card ($20 or more) to the neighbourhood coffee shop. You should take your EA out for lunch or, better yet, give him or her a gift card to take someone else out for lunch. And write something personal on the card so they know how much you appreciate them.

Report an editorial error

Report a technical issue

Editorial code of conduct

Tickers mentioned in this story

Study and track financial data on any traded entity: click to open the full quote page. Data updated as of 28/03/24 7:00pm EDT.

SymbolName% changeLast
RH-N
Rh Common Stock
+17.26%348.26

Interact with The Globe