The good news is that the NBA was never serious about mandating a ban on hand-shaking in order to guard against H1N1, at least according to NBA spokesman Tim Frank.
But it is true that they don't want their players to stand during games.
Seriously.
According to the Cleveland Plain-Dealer, enough of the swells in the expensive seats have complained about their vision being blocked that the NBA has sent a memo telling players to keep their asses pasted to the bench during games. Technical fouls will be assessed. This is a league that allows the canned noise and crap music levels to reach extremes during games … but they want their players to sit down? Look: that's part of the bargain of sitting down there, along with players landing on you and drinks being spilled. If the league has enough time to deal with a situation like this, maybe it needs another franchise crisis or two to get its priorities right.