Comedian Stephen Colbert, who infamously attended the Vancouver Winter Olympics in 2010, will not be visiting the Russian Games in Sochi. In his place he has sent the Canadian comedian Scott Thompson, who will file reports in character as the unambiguously gay Buddy Cole, a fictional role from Thompson's days with the comedic troupe The Kids in the Hall.
The undertaking for Cole, who was introduced on Monday's Colbert Report as an "old friend" by the satirical show's namesake host, is to "investigate the gay threat to the Games." Russian President Vladimir Putin, a hardliner in so many respects, sparked an international outrage when he outlawed homosexual "propaganda" in Russia.
To ready himself for his mission, Cole spoke in New York with Ambassador Daniel Baer, the openly gay U.S Representative to the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe. The uproarious interchange between the pair was presented on Monday's Colbert Report, with a bewildered Baer ironically playing the straight man to Cole's lispy shenanigans.
"All people should have the right to have terrible relationships," suggested Cole, who added that "everyone should be free to be trapped in loveless marriages." In response, Baer hoped no one would be trapped in such a relationship.
Cole peppered the ambassador with inane questions and opinions on incriminating fashion choices, to which Baer diplomatically cautioned that it was important "not to overthink this," and that he had no opinion on whether "buttons were gayer than zippers."
Tuesday's Colbert Report featured a taped segment from Salt Lake City, Utah, where the incorrigible Cole visited the training U.S. men's speed-skating team, prior to their departure to Sochi (pronounced "so-shay" by Cole).
It was Cole's task to help the spandexed five-member squad to "avoid appearing gay and getting arrested in Russia." To that end, he outfitted the skaters with fanny packs and khaki slacks. The disguise, however, didn't work to Cole's satisfaction: "Not even Dockers could dampen those fiery thighs." He then proposed the skaters wear Crocs, a brand of casual footwear he described as "gay kryptonite."
The Colbert Report airs nightly in Canada on The Comedy Network. It is believed that Cole's dispatches from Russia will be aired throughout the Games, which continue to Feb. 23.