Isaac Brekken
Oh dear. Now this is a tricky one.
All of Quebec is atwitter and agog this morning over the exploits of 23-year-old Jonathan Duhamel, who pulled a Gomez-ian payout of $8,944,310 out of the World Series of Poker Main Event on Monday night.
By all of Quebec, we mean all of the Quebec media, which is the same thing, really, because who else speaks for Le Peuple and kindly helps shape their tastes and consumer preferences?
Bully for Duhamel, we say, bravo and a tip of the flat cap.
But there are some inconvenient aspects to this whole affair.
What message for the young ones from Duhamel, who became an instant celebrity earlier this year by making the final table at the WSOP's showcase? (he is the first Canadian to win it, although several others, including Kid Poker himself, Daniel Negreanu, have WSOP bracelets in other events) The guy's a college drop-out, right? He gambles vast amounts of money, right? His training regimen consists of hours spent staying up late in dank rooms wearing a hoodie, giant headphones and a menacing, inscrutable look, right?
What about fitness? Good sleeping and eating habits?
I mean, how are we going to keep little Louis-Philippe on the cul-de-sac in Laval once he's seen the shimmering lights and green baize of Vegas?
Besides, is poker even a sport? And what's the world record for question marks in a single story?
Poker's certainly a competition, it's all over cable sports television, people who practice it "train", and at least you don't get malaria from playing it, unlike soccer.
But if you can drink booze while doing something, it's hard to consider it an athletic pursuit - although by that standard curling's not a sport either.
And thousands from turn out in England to watch large men throw darts for big money while quaffing 16 pints of heavy in the process.
See what we mean? Lots of indecision and aching melons at FI this morning, not least because we're not as bright as the guys at the final table of the WSOP.
Anyhoo, Duhamel now becomes the richest and most celebrated member of an emerging generation of young Quebecois poker players (former corporate lawyer Isabelle Mercier being the trailblazer, and 23-year-old Pascal Lefrancois - another finance student who won a WSOP bracelet this year - the Lemieux to Duhamel's Gretzky).
Guess these folks are the modern equivalent of the great chess champions of yore - I'll see your Spassky and raise you a Phil Ivey.
And if it makes parents and moral arbiters out there feel any better, the current crop of poker sharks aren't exactly hustlers and gambling addicts.
Duhamel, who can apparently recite most of the script from Rounders off the top of his head, has little in common with Edward Norton's character, the incorrigible, larcenous Worm.
It should be pointed out Duhamel dropped out of a very highly regarded financial economics program - given his prize, he clearly has a better grasp of the real-world economy than his peers - to even be in a position to leave the program requires some serious brain power.
He left his studies in order to become a professional poker player and to dedicate his energies to playing hundreds of thousands of hands - the surest way to learn the percentages and how to make split-second decisions on the odds.
And there's no question it required nerves of steel to survive the final stages of the WSOP, and to go all-in with an unsuited ace and jack combo (although that's a pretty good hand) to win the moolah.
Plus, Duhamel is a monster Habs fan, and has already pledged to donate $100,000 to the Canadiens Children's Foundation - an estimable gesture and an indication that the kid is thinking about more than just himself.
All in all, we could think of far worse role models in pro sports.
We just hope he continues to use his new-found fame, NHL-like riches and status - and influence in Habs-land - for good, not evil.
Maybe he can start by publicly asking why Maxim Lapierre is playing with Scott Gomez and Andrei Kostitsyn against the Canucks tonight.